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NOVEMBER 2002 so i was looking around on the internet and i found a page with the final meals requested by "death row" prisoners in texas! (http://www.thememoryhole.org/deaths/texas-final-meals.htm) if you are not familiar with texas it is a state here, it is flat and large and they execute a lot of people. before they die the people are allowed to have whatever they want to eat though!! it does not sound too great to talk about it but i think it is pretty awesome that the people would have their ideas about what they would eat last put on the internet for the entire world to see. there are lots of boring internet journals where people document all the crap they do all day long but none of them just have the last meal they will ever eat! i am not a big fan of murder or committing crimes in general. unless maybe some company made some ice cream that was so good that it got outlawed, and then only outlaws would eat it! probably i would get some and eat it because man if there is one thing worth disobeying the law for it is ICE CREAM!! especially the kind with pistachios. mmmm pistachios ok anyway well it is a good philosophy question to ask if you only could eat one thing ever again what it would be! and since people all over the world like food it is a universal idea. for example one man just asked for a pot of coffee! and i agree with him, because i pretty much always want coffee. sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night and i think, man i would like some coffee! instead of making coffee i just go back to sleep and dream some more about tiny hairless dogs driving tanks and shooting colored eggs out, and the dogs look exactly like willie nelson, and then i look down and i have no clothes on and my teeth fall out AAAGHGHHHH then some other guy on the death row thing asked for jolly ranchers. jolly ranchers are this hard candy that is clear and tastes like fruit! it seems like it would not be a good food choice but if you think about it, if you just put them in your cheek and do not suck on them it takes forever to finish even one of them. a whole bag could take days, it is ingenious, he could defeat the system just by using candy! (also i noticed that a lot of death row people want dr. pepper to drink. seriously probably half of them ask for it, i wonder if perhaps it contains chemicals that make you murder people) some people asked for things like "world peace" and "freedom and equality for all people" which i guess is a good idea! but maybe if you ate world peace wouldn't it hurt your kidneys or something? i don't know (NOTE: REPLACE THIS SECTION WITH ONE THAT MAKES SENSE AND THEN DELETE THIS NOTE) so if i were going to get killed i would want chinese food and coffee! i would stuff myself full of fried rice and general tso's chicken and steamed broccoli and egg rolls and wontons until i was about to burst just like every time i go to the chinese buffet and eat too much! then i would drink an entire pot of coffee, because the first cup of coffee always makes your stomach feel better but if you drink more than that your stomach pain will TRIPLE! by the time i get done with the coffee and i am drinking the burned part at the bottom i will welcome death with open arms because my stomach will hurt so badly!! i think it is the best death row plan ever. also when they are talking to me in between when i get the meal and when i die i will refer to everything using the word "death"!! DEATH WARDEN can i use the death toilet!! i would say. i have to take a death dump!! DEATH PRIEST i would like my last death rites please! can you hand me the death rosary! also brb going to wash my death hands i have death residue all over them from the death chicken i had for dinner (back to the writing index page) |