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OCTOBER 2002 i still do not have a job!! if you are thinking that i should probably get one soon then you are right. the problem is that nobody wants to hire new employees ever. some companies are even firing people who have been there a long time and not giving their jobs to new people! it is a tough time for people who want to get money on a regular basis, i will steal the idea from the united states president that TOUGH TIMES CALL FOR TOUGH MEASURES!! except i will not use the phrase as a reason to drop explosives into the desert, that would not help me get a job! i mean unless i wanted to fly planes or something but i would not be so great at that. i have a little bit of wrist hurt disease (it is what you get from the repetitive stress of typing!! it is not so bad now that i have not had a job in a long time) but i bet that having to move levers around and push buttons would not work well for me. UNIT DREW DO YOU READ ME!! UNIT DREW COME IN YOUR CRAFT IS LOSING ALTITUDE! the radio would tell me. i would pick it up and say AIR FORCE PEOPLE MY WRISTS SERIOUSLY HURT!! I HAVE TO TAKE BREAKS EVERY HALF AN HOUR AND MOVE MY WRISTS IN CIRCLES AND STRETCH THE FINGERS OUT, ALSO I WOULD LIKE A WRIST PAD FOR THE PLANE STEERING WHEEL THING SO MY WRISTS FEEL BETTER!! RIGHT NOW I AM ROLLING MY WRISTS UP AND DOWN SLOWLY I WILL GET BACK TO THE PLANE THING IN A MINUTE!!! anyway the tough measures i figured out are that i will have to kill someone! not just a random person but i mean someone with a pretty good job, probably i will have to take some time to find someone who has a job doing something that i like. it will be a secret plot like a horror television show!! i will be walking and accidentally jab the person as they are getting onto the bus but the jab will be a poison jab because i have some special umbrella or pointy cane thing that i can put poison on! i saw something about it once on television, it is how the KGB killed someone i think! and they are pretty good at death, i mean they are not so great at making a country work well so all the people are not starving but i will not worry about that now. first i must solve the problem of me not having so much money that i can pay for a place to live and also for food to eat and a car and all of that! i mean if i lived in some village where the houses were made out of scrap wood and corrugated tin roofs my job would just be in another scrap hut that was nearby and i would not have to drive, then i would not have to buy food because someone would just have some kind of cooking goat meat or other weird food and i would eat it!! but i do not live there, it is heaven i bet because you do not even have to take a shower much, if you are a grad student you could fit right in!! okokok so the horror show part would be that the next day i would walk into the business and say, "hello i am looking for a job doing (fill in the name of old dead person job here) do you have an opening!!" and they would have an opening! and it would be a coincidence for them. probably the moral would get me though! because always the horror show had people who did bad things and they would end up getting in trouble in the end, i bet i would be going to work the next day and get poisoned and then someone would walk in and ask for my job and the secretary at the place would look at them and say, "why yes we have a recent opening you can start today actually!!" and then she would have a book about how to serve mankind but then OH CRUD THE BOOK IS NOT SO MUCH FOR MAKING PEOPLE HAPPY AS IT IS FOR EATING THEM BECAUSE SERVE ALSO MEANS COOKED ON A TABLE!!!! AGGGGHHHH IT IS THE WORST JOB EVER (back to the writing index page) |