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AUGUST 2002 so i made a new web site a while ago, i put a bunch of drawings on it. it is called TOOTHPASTE FOR DINNER and it is at www.toothpastefordinner.com. i am not writing for publicity but only because it is so long to type and i am complaining! (complaining is the official sport of people on the inter-net) i did not really want to have such a long address that people would have to type in but i did not really have a choice. all of the good addresses that people might visit on accident were already taken! like pets.com i thought maybe people would look for pet things and see my drawings instead and decide to look at them. or pirates.com because sometimes i like to draw pictures of pirates, they have hook hands and eye patches and strange speech patterns! they sail around and steal things and probably use the inter-net a lot because it is lonely in the ocean and there are lots of fiber optic lines there. i could not find any domains that were not yet registered so i decided that my best new bet for a good name was avast.ye!!! because .ye is a country code, and pirates say AVAST YE a lot! and i thought maybe if someone were a pirate and they had speech recognition on their computer and were talking to other pirates and the speech recognition heard them talking it would automatically take them to avast.ye!! and also if a pirate was talking to people on a pirate chat channel he might accidentally type "avast ye" into the wrong window and it would take him to the web site! so i looked around and found out that .YE is the country code for YEMEN! that is a small country in the middle east, i tried to get online and register avast.ye but i could not find any way to do it. i guess they do not have many computers there, or they do not know the business opportunities that other countries have used! for example whatever country has .com (communism or cambodia or something) is probably making millions off people registering inter-net names. i tried to send email to yemen but i guess it is sort of like sending mail to the north pole! because i do not know any yemen web sites, or any people in yemen who use the inter-net, or even any pirates who have tried to register .ye domain names. probably there is a pirate somewhere right now cursing at his computer and the computer is just telling him: SORRY, THE SERVER BLAST.YE IS NOT RESPONDING!! according to the information i found on the web, yemen is slightly larger than twice the size of wyoming. if you are in the uk maybe you do not know much about wyoming but it is a pretty flat and stupid state, i do not see any sites ending in .wy so probably there are about as many internet users there as there are in yemen! WAIT! i have the best idea ever!! wyoming and yemen are both mostly flat and empty and they don't use the internet so i think they have a lot in common! if i can plan for a series of odd "coincidences" to happen so they meet several times perhaps they will fall in love, it is a romantic comedy plot in real life!! probably there will be lots of complications and the people watching the movie will be sad because things will get in the way of their relationship but finally during the last half hour of the movie they realize they are in love and decide to move in together and have illegitimate children and then yemen takes off one day and never pays child support! wait maybe not that last part but the rest is golden! i do not know what to call the movie, maybe it can be SLEEPLESS IN SANA'A or WHEN WYOMING MET YEMEN!! starring tom hanks as wyoming and meg ryan as yemen! MOVIE COMPANIES ARE YOU LISTENING YOU CAN HAVE THIS SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER FOR FREE!! ALL I NEED IS A WRITTEN GUARANTEE THAT TOM HANKS AND MEG RYAN WILL NEVER MAKE ANOTHER MOVIE EVER AGAIN (back to the writing index page) |