Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):

2010: jan . : . feb . : . mar
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec

and now, let's dim the lights, so i can show you computer slides and read the exact text of the slides to you

time for the presentation
11-30-04

time for the presentation
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HOW TO RAP SAFELY IF YOU ARE WHITE ain't nothin but a g-thing bay-bee two low-down chickens so we cray-zee replace all occurrences of "nigga" with "chicken"

rap safely
11-29-04

rap safely
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at the national academy of experimental coffee cup design you know, i'm not liking this design much...what if you make the bottom really narrow, so it will tip over a lot more easily

experimental coffee cup design
11-28-04

experimental coffee cup design
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when i am having a rough week at work i like to come in early on friday, take the cables out of every computer in my department, and put them in a box in the hallway labeled "FREE"

free cables
11-27-04

free cables
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yo soy...... EL PRRRRRESIDENTE DE MINESWEEPERRRR

el presidente de minesweeper
11-26-04

el presidente de minesweeper
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last night i woke up and wrote down an idea from a dream i had which i knew would help the country i read it when i woke up and it said: 800 nipple-hands are needed to start the revolution

800 nipple hands
11-25-04

800 nipple hands
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here is one for free...if you like it, you know where to get more as a child i bought bulk candy at the supermarket and resold it to my classmates at tremendously inflated prices my empire was huge but it crumbled quickly when i started trying my own merchandise

the vast blood sugar empire
11-24-04

the vast blood sugar empire
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i was just thinking about how you could use thin pieces of cardboard to support weight and be very strong i came up with a system to fold and glue the sheets then i realized: i just invented corrugated cardboard great job dude

corrugated cardboard
11-23-04

corrugated cardboard
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hey, did you hear they made an american version of that katamari game? it's pretty cool, your ball is measured in feet and inches instead of meters, and you get to pick a new country to pre-emptively invade every round

katamari democracy
11-22-04

katamari democracy
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COFFEE, 12 OZ. WARNING: excess consumption may lead to completion of assignments, heightened creativity, disappearance of headaches, and/or unbridled joy

coffee medical warning
11-21-04

coffee medical warning
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you see, son, you can't say cusses all the time...they are only for emergencies or the internet

emergencies or the internet
11-20-04

emergencies or the internet
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i find that advanced fretwork is difficult, but i can pinch and crush a guitar for hours

pinch and crush a guitar
11-19-04

pinch and crush a guitar
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so did you hear about the guy who never ate because he stayed in his room moaning and playing with a piece of string? no? he was a starving autist my failed bid to start a career in stand-up comedy: over almost before it began

my failed stand up career
11-18-04

my failed stand up career
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as you can clearly see in this diagram, the hurricanes of 2004 only passed through counties in florida where i have farted clearly it is a sign of a higher power

the hurricanes of florida
11-17-04

the hurricanes of florida
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WHAT OHIO THINKS, I GUESS now that gay marriage is illegal in ohio, homosexuals will stop getting together and having gay children, finally eliminating gay people once and for all

what ohio thinks
11-16-04

what ohio thinks
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i been takin care of hobos every day takin care of hobos on a train

takin care of hobos
11-15-04

takin care of hobos
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MANDATORY HAMMER TOE SCREENING all employees must report to the break room at 10am tomorrow for this free mandatory testing fake memos make the world go round

fake memos
11-14-04

fake memos
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ELECTRONIC VOTING MACHINE SIMULATOR Click here to vote Kerry Bush Other Congratulations, you have just voted for: GEORGE W. BUSH

voting machine simulator
11-13-04

voting machine simulator
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on the charges of having the new flaming lips album but none of their earlier noisy, psychedelic albums, i find you GUILTY your ipod has been suspended for thirty days

ipod suspension
11-12-04

ipod suspension
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who's the dude behind you oh, that's morrissey...the more i ignore him, the closer he gets

the more i ignore him
11-11-04

the more i ignore him
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THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA: land of the free, home of the brave yes, most of us really ARE that stupid

the united states of stupid
11-10-04

the united states of stupid
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pretzel, pretzel, illegal pretzel

illegal pretzel
11-09-04

illegal pretzel
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whazooop! hah hah if you have ever wondered what's worse than open mic night, the answer is: open mic night at a comedy club

open mic night
11-08-04

open mic night
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pleated slacks: why aren't they illegal

pleated slacks
11-07-04

pleated slacks
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yo man what you got, you holdin yo i got some stuff...five for one or twenty for five...no CODs though, dogg

yo man what you got
11-06-04

yo man what you got
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THE NEW IBOOK ipod hole stupidity port (internet) how to get carpal tunnel WHY DID I GET ONE, I HATE COMPUTERS

the new ibook
11-05-04

the new ibook
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THE NODDER uh huh uh huh yeah uh huh yeah uh huh uh huh I BET YOU HAVE TO WORK WITH THIS GUY TOO

the nodder
11-04-04

the nodder
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every day is li-ike sun-day every day is my-y birth-day

the robarb town they forgot to bomb
11-03-04

the robarb town they forgot to bomb
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scientific studies have shown that yelling "where are the damn twist ties" actually doubles the time an average person takes to find the twist ties

where are the twist ties
11-02-04

where are the twist ties
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what? it's already NOVEMBER?? man i thought it was like july time moves so fast for me any more that when i look at a calendar i feel like a bewildered time traveler

bewildered november time traveler
11-01-04

bewildered november time traveler
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Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):

2010: jan . : . feb . : . mar
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec