Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
hey, i'd like to introduce you to janice, she is my significant uh-oh
how do you hide something from an internet cartoonist give up put it anywhere outside his house, he'll never find it
sniff sniff sometimes at work i smell something foul and walk around for a few minutes trying to find what it is coming from, before i realize it is just the stench of my own fast-approaching mortality
the next time you wish you could see into the future, remember that if computer scientists in 1974 had known that their research would lead hordes of people to sit in coffeeshops and instant-message each other, they would have killed themselves
basically what i am saying is that this planned redistribution is dumber than kwanzaa BUSINESS TIP: when addressing the board of directors, try to avoid using the phrase "dumber than kwanzaa" to describe potential business moves
nobody ever says "i want to have a web page when i grow up"
and where would you prefer to be seated today: screaming baby or non-screaming baby
if you have previously played the "use your car to shoot shopping carts across an empty parking lot" game, you may enjoy my new invention, the "cut your ex-girlfriend's* brake lines and push her car into the creek" game *or ex-boyfriend's/neighbor's/parole officer's
now let's see if he will eat cheetos if children say they are playing with the cat, they are never so much playing as "testing its physical limits"
pfft blah blah WARNING: if you wear cologne to work, i will be forced to fight back with heavy fire-power: the atkins ketone meat fart
MY NEW TELEVISION SHOW: "bumfriends", where i will ply the homeless with booze and money to get them to shake hands and talk to each other i'll give you a dollar if you say "how do you do, bumfriend"
oh please, oh please every night before i go to sleep i pray that ralph nader will find and capture osama bin laden by himself, right before the election, just because it would make every single politician extremely angry
everyone! it's time to get up in arms about another political inevitability! TO THE INTERNET!!
yesterday i played my favorite game, "replace the most important word in a song with the word butt". tainted butt, i've got to HONK HONK get away from your butt, oh HONK HONK taaaainted butt
what have i been doing the past few months? well, mostly, i have been photocopying twenty dollar bills and throwing them out of my car to watch people dart into traffic to retrieve them
yeah, i'm a cat person, i have six cats once you own any more than three cats, you go from being a "cat person" to a CAT PERSON
the next time you are going to scream at the audience after your powerpoint presentation, remember what happened to howard dean do you really want internet people to mix your scream with music and send it to all their friends
i am going to count to three, young man, and then i will count to three, and then i will count....is the stove on? let's go check some people think that having an obsessive-compulsive dad would be horrible, but i bet it would be not so bad
scritch scritch scritch scritch scritch scritch scritch one day i am going to organize a sandpaper competition just so i can say "the prize will go to the last man sanding"
blah blah blah blah blah if this were the 1980s, i would be able to silence loud coworkers with a bucket of green slime and the phrase "iiiii heard that"
hi! do you recognize me? you should - i am the creepy old guy who was in all your college classes, who always made everyone nervous!
what's up ladytron short black hair plus all black clothes might look cool in new york, but all it's going to get you here is a "what's up, ladytron"
just when you have some hope for the future of humanity, the jukebox at the laundromat comes on and plays the four worst james taylor songs ever
if there were anything funny i could say about the amish without being a total asshole, i would put it here since i know they would never see it
there comes a time in everyone's life when they must ask themselves: am i SERIOUS about being unemployed not serious not serious not serious not serious serious
the only girl i ever loved was born with hoses in her pie but then they buried her with mimes one evening by a naked guy with just a piece of hoses pie and only weeks before your mom all came and yelled at everyone
from the time i was born, i wanted to be a stocky, bitter teenager, and now, finally, i am thank you, open-faced sandwiches
we're here to talk to you about lou barlow. can we come inside for a moment i hate it when i'm at home doing something and some sebadoh's witnesses come to the door
it's not a bald spot, it's a solar panel for DON'T READ MY T-SHIRT
MARCH 18th: the one day it is sunny between three months of snow and two months of rain in ohio
didn't you get the memo? webcomic or not, pop culture references are not a substitute for actual humor
Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
