Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
children are like flowers, oh-ho who failed to grow deaf people are like flowers, hey hey that forgot how to hear
did you hear what i just put on the jukebox? URRRP man i love the flaming lips! WOOO THE FLAMING LIPS AW RIGHT dripster. n. contraction of "drunk hipster". the only thing more annoying than a regular hipster
and now i lay thee to rest, keyboard #2 that i have destroyed in as many months both fought bravely but could not overcome the destructive power of diet cherry soda
cheer up, kiddo when you get older you'll be able to drink until you're so chronically debilitated you can't form new memories at all
what i've been thinking is, we'll create a generic version of the bagel, to get around the patents we'll undercut the brand name bagels...i'm thinking we can call it "BREAD TORUS" maybe "TORUS BREAD", but, you know, they can work that out over in marketing
if you're driving down a long, straight road on a hot summer day and the road looks like it's wet, even if it's not, that means you have cancer
here's a memo for you...now, remember, you have to copy it and post it on seven bulletin boards within the next week, or you will be in trouble one man in the chicago branch forgot to make copies before posting, and the next day, his coffee mug was suddenly gone
i have arranged this month's expense report into short sections of seventeen spreadsheet cells, in the pattern 5-7-5 i feel it reflects the beauty and balance present in the forms and shapes of our department
my fellow americans, our world-wide oil reserves are at an all-time low, which is a strong and immediate threat to the american way of living this is why, earlier today, i signed a bill from congress declaring war on dinosaurs, who are directly responsible for this global threat to our oil supply we will stop these terrorists, and turn them into fossil fuels at any cost
THE WORST IDEA I EVER HAD hey, while i'm in pittsburgh, i think i'll have some undercooked fish for dinner
listen...i love you, but i love you like i love my brother, okay? yeah, that's cool...i love you too, but i love you more like the way i love leaving a briefcase full of bricks in a crowded subway station
thank you for calling the drew show...caller, go ahead hey drew, i love your show! anyway i called to ask - how do i get my son to stop jumping on the bed well, caller, this is pretty common...i suggest you just crush his ambitions until he loses the will to live for example, if he wants to be a fireman, tell him that he'll never be a fireman, no matter how hard he tries. then drown his guinea pig. that'll do it. next caller go ahead
the graphic designers go christmas cropping in december i scanned in some pictures from your desk and cut you out of them this is what the world would be like...if you were NEVER BORN NEVERRRR BORRRRNNN
let it snow let it snowwwwww thank you i hate you
FOODS I COOKED ON A WAFFLE IRON WHILE IN COLLEGE - bags of frozen vegetables - rice - meatless "chicken" patties and nuggets - bagels - barbecue sauce - toast - frozen waffles
when i asked you to contribute to the company newsletter, i was looking for something a little more positive than "brewin with drew", where you spend 400 words berating people who don't start a fresh pot when they take the last cup
"cincinnati air freshener". n. a fart left in an empty elevator for future occupants to experience
we have reached the end of the earth...this is desolation itself chain this rebel, lego man, to the rock DO NOT LET YOUR CHILDREN READ GREEK PLAYS OR THIS WILL HAPPEN
QUICK TIP: are you a parent? if so, remember who will choose your nursing home SHADY SHITTERS FECAL HOME FOR THE SHITTY
MY PLAN IF I AM ELECTED PRESIDENT we will give the pristine wilderness of the upper peninsula of michigan to canada, because they will actually appreciate it we've had this state for years, yet you've never gone to visit the upper peninsula now, your neighbors, canada, they know how to appreciate the beauty of a northern wonderland i hope you learn your lesson this time
i got a cane the other day so when i finally get old enough to need it, i'll be so proficient with it that i can put out a feisty young troublemaker's eye without even blinking
a man, a plan, a canal...mexico
if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate
sugar free mint patties: for those times you want to cut your sugar intake and have two hours of eggy farts at the same time
i'm kimya dawson! thundercats! playdoh! cereal! rrraaAAAAARRRGGGHHHHH real-life stories: when good bands...GO BAD! hosted by adam green
unlike people who grew up in the 20th century, the youth of today know there are no flying cars or jetpacks in our future; fatter people, worse drivers, and more advertisements will fill our lives in 2050
yep, here it is, just like i told you - the government says they're going to take away your legos unless you go clean them up right now i'm sorry, son, my hands are tied. i guess you gotta clean up your room
NO you can't have not for you when i die and go to hell i will be on the atkins diet and the only place to eat will be satan's own bakery
HAMSTER you chewed up the pieces of wood i gave you, ate all the sunflower seeds i set out, and crapped all over the nice soft litter i put in your cage! THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE ANYTHING NICE
when i was a kid i overhead some people talking about a strip club, and it was years before i realized that strippers didn't come out on stage wearing pastries
this is your captain speaking, i'd like to remind you all to keep your seatbelts on during the entire flight, on account of me being totally roasted
Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
