Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
WOOOOOOO!! ESKIMOS WIN!! when eskimos riot do they set igloos on fire and overturn dog sleds
sometimes at a used cd store you will be browsing and someone will be looking at cds starting at the other end and eventually you will be standing right next to each other. how do you get around each other without compromising your alphabetic order? oh man sweet, the new lilys cd AAGH JESUS MY EYE the answer is to turn your head and spit directly into their eyeball
do you have an outie or an innie an innie too bad, i need four more outies for my collection to be complete
the newest hipster trend: ironic urban apparel oh my GOD your pendant is great where did you get it isn't it totally shizle bling? i got it at "nu-wear II", that place is hilarious
fake wrestling moves: - quarter winslow - poetry slam - sunday-driver - syntax error - fortune cookie - sudden heart attack* *not fake
when people put graffiti tags around my neighborhood, i like to add more information to them "TACO probably needs a belt" "PTA listens to the cranberries"
some people hate evangelical christians, but i find them spectacularly easy to buy presents for - everything at the christian bookstore will do just fine happy birthday this year i went the extra mile and gave my coworker a homemade shirt that said: "WARNING: in case of rapture, the asshole inside this shirt will be unmanned"
if you lived on the bus you would be home by now
hey, check out this auction i found looks like another dumb novelty auction to me, that ain't nothin to LQQK at
OUT: stupid year-end lists on everything IN: writing "2003" on every single goddamn one of my checks
FARMER WAIT do not kill the cow, it will release chemicals to attract other cows and make them attack you!! some days i wish cows worked like bees do
why do all piano jazz songs sound like the mr. rogers theme song diddly diddly doo (camera pans over toy houses)
i am starting a sigur ros fan club!! it will be called "byaaaaaaaashoooooooo (sound of water droplet)"
ssssssssssss typical day in my life: i go to the coffee shop to make some drawings, but the only empty seat is next to a demonic baby who will not stop hissing or clawing at me (and its owner does nothing to stop it)
i want to be a fireman i want to be the guy who puts funny messages on store signs
where is the stage that the beans get burned and peed on by migrant workers who only eat asparagus
how is your project going pretty well, i have outsourced the work to retarded spider monkeys with no arms, i think they will be done soon
hi! you might recognize me as the guy who did the rap breakdown on every techno song from 1989-1994
where do you see yourself in five years, career wise i would like to be the fat guy in cypress hill who shouts "uhh!" and "yeah!" while the other guy raps
did you eat the last piece no pie detector test
this halloween wasn't too great but next year i am dressing like russian (the language)
my quarterly report is that this quarter i am an airplane!! WHOOOOSHHH DOES THE AIRPORT HAVE ANY QUESTIONS
i just want to meet a woman who does not mind that my farts sometimes sound like a car alarm
what do you do i prosecute people who use milk crates unlawfully
tikka tikka tikka tikka tikka tikka when i first heard that orchestras had a "double bass" i thought it was a man playing 32nd notes on kick drums
then this guy said his cup holder broke and i was like NO THAT IS THE CD-ROM DRIVE STUPID CUSTOMER when did that happen, 1992 on usenet
so what did you do this weekend i got a visit from my aunt flo
EHHH! ehhhhh! EHHH EHHH! ehhhh! EHH! when threatened, north-midwestern middle aged women cluster together in a tight formation and pronounce "ah" with their soft palate so it sounds like "eh"
FUN FACT: did you know that it is illegal in 42 states to write a record review without using the verb "recall"?
FUN FACT: did you know that i have been able to imitate bands with incoherent vocalists since high school? well, heeeebo, a bicka owna dayun onna big ol bed a concrete, huh ye-ah eeeven flo-how, like a rockam buttah-flies, yeah whoa
man he is short the time i was walking down the street and saw local semi-celebrity "damon zex" waiting for the bus
Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
