Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):
2010: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2010: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
WE'RE ALL GLAD THAT ASSAULT WEAPONS WERE LEGALIZED being able to spray bullets legally has made my cooking a lot easier...and a lot more fun! the ability to fire hundreds of rounds in quick succession helped me graduate high school! what if my home is invaded by a herd of robot bear-sharks? i need to be able to defend my property...and now i can! when i had conventional firearms, if my kids found my guns, they'd only be able to plug each other once or twice. not anymore!
graduate school: it's like looking directly into the bulb of a high-powered flashlight for two years, only more expensive
this report is no good i will rewrite it immediately boss RULE OF THE OFFICE: save insubordination for managers who do not have lobster claw hands
WHY THE DOT-COM ERA ENDED coffee's a buck, refills are fifty cents standard business we'll give out coffee for free to attract people to our site, where we sell napkins and cream e-business
techno music: not made for the sarcastic repeat that loop four times...oh yeah, just like that now i'm thinking you should put another loop on top of it, like...yeah! just like that! HOLY CRAP YOU'RE BLOWING MY MIND OUT
every time you hear a cell phone ring, an angel gets kinda annoyed
hey, where'd you get that file folder oh, it was a gift, i don't know where it came from
well, i gotta go...these torsos aren't going to cut themselves up
GRANDPA IN A STARTER JACKET - where did he get it - kinda weird
i have declared this month "metal notebook writing" month. until next month, all my captions will be written in metal notebook font oops, i mean METAL WRITING FONT
i've thought about it for a while, and if i ever start rapping, my rap name will be DI$COUNT$ then if i do a solo project later it'll be called $AVING$
here's my card...you know, if we were mayans, i'd be handing you a human skill with my phone number on it right now well, not a phone number really, more of a human skull number, but you know what i mean
HIPSTER ELECTION 2004 faux-80's mustache vs. ramone mop vs. overbearing mutton chops WHICH HORRIBLE HAIR DECISION WILL PREVAIL
so i went out to buy that new "grand theft" game, but i was distracted inside and ended up accidentally getting "grand theft auto: columbus ohio" instead it's a pretty realistic game but all the missions are just like "hey player...why don't you go to the ATM and get out twenty bucks, and buy a soda" and "look in the classified ads and press triangle to interview for the job"
and that is the difference between alternating curry and direct curry
i used to make coffee with a french press - a cylinder with a mesh strainer that brews coffee grounds when you pour in hot water i switched over last week to an american press...it works the same, but it ignores my failures and tells the entire world that i'm doing a great job brewing coffee
clock clock clock as soon as i can get a band together i am starting a spooky group called THREE GOTHICK FRENULUMS and we will play all of our songs with mandolins and tongue clicking
SWEATERVEST you leave my arms cold and bare, yet you itch my torso unbearably is there anything you can't do
FUN FACT: fish can't smell i haven't showered in days it's cool, i can't smell
NEW!! DISAFFECTED YOUTH - Occasional door-slamming, otherwise remains quiet - Easy to feed and maintain (prefers to stay in room or away from your home) - Comes with free "NIN" shirt ORDER YOURS TODAY
ever since the anti-rave-pants bill passed in 1998, super-floppy pants remain only in rare pictures such as this one, taken outside a warehouse party in 1993...and, of course, in our hearts
the other day i found a bunch of easter egg colors in the closet so i bought six dozen eggs, colored them, and hid them all over the side of my neighbor's house and car
my wife and i got in a big argument this weekend she keeps telling me that the second-anniversary gift is "wood", but i am pretty sure that's the third anniversary, and the second anniversary present is a donkey punch
our studies have conclusively proven that the recorded image which encapsulates the joys and troubles of the twenty-first century is this picture of ray davies eating a hot dog
FUN FACT: i have a biological aversion to ranch dressing i can't eat it and if i accidentally get some on myself i throw up a little in the back of my throat
portrait of the self-made immunologist putting pens, pencils, doorknobs, etc. in mouth healthy immune system
hey drew, whatcha doin just about to get on a conference call here in a minute translation: going to hide in the bathroom and do mad libs by myself for an hour
you can pick your friends, and you can poop at work, but you can't chase your work friends around with a piece of poop
no, you can not have a different birthday present your mother and i spent good money on that utah, now go outside and play there's tons of things you can do with it, go start a polygamist cult or something
GO HOME UNTIL YOU CAN FIND SOME SLEEVES
FOOD FIIIIIGHT!!! every so often, i like to grab my tray and stand up suddenly in the cafeteria at work, and yell "food fight!" just in case
Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):
2010: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2010: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec