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this is a set of seven paintings called "beard of the month club". the paintings range in size from 12"x16" to 30"x30" and i recommend that they be displayed unframed. they are painted with acrylics on archival-quality acid-free stretched canvas and will be shipped intact (i.e. without removing the paintings from the stretcher bars.) they are individually signed, titled, and dated on the back. the paintings will be shipped via UPS oversize and packed in an extremely generous amount of bubblewrap. shipping costs $46 (actual price of shipping plus packing materials) in part because I want to insure that they arrive safely. now that that's out of the way, let's look at the paintings.

this is how the paintings are currently hanging in my house. you can hang them like this (in a corner), on a single wall, or spread out. it is up to you. if you purchase them, i will be glad to suggest a layout for you if you like. the corner is kinda blurry and photoshopped cause there is a bookcase in that corner that's too heavy for me to move.

the king. 16"x20". the king is the most regal of beards, and lends the wearer an air of dignity without the inconvenience of a moustache that must be kept out of a bowl of soup. i am partial to this style as it has served me well over the years.

the musketeer. 14"x18". not commonly seen today, unless you hang out at the renaissance festival. the moustache and pointed lower part are like three points of a compass, leading the wearer to sights unseen and places only dreamed of.

the peacock. 24"x30". named after the fictional peacock johnson (from "the peacock manifesto", by stuart david.) in real life, this style can be seen on gruff high-school history teachers and in select other venues (mostly bars.) the peacock is a living, growing testament to the hardest parts of life.

the sideburns. 12"x16". speaking of bars, the sideburn-beard is perhaps the king of all bar beards. the open chin on this beard says "i spill food/drink out of my mouth frequently, and i want you to know this." despite its common origins, however, the sideburn-beard has a deliberate and upstanding appearance when taken out of its original context. it is one of my favorite beards.

the soulpatch. 14"x18". the most understated beard of all. like the tuft of hair that remains on the forehead when male-pattern baldness has taken all that lays around it, the soul patch combines the desire to remain clean-shaven with the desire to show masculinity. it is the oasis in a sea of five-o-clock shadows, and is oft maligned, worn only by the most unassuming, or the most intrepid of beard-growers.

the fu manchu. 12"x24". (this is a little out of focus, sorry. the actual painting is not blurry.) the fu manchu is not technically a beard but i think it is one of the most assertive facial hairstyles that can be worn. its length varies proportionally to the wearer's desire and ability to maintain such a difficult and delicate facial topiary.

the dawn of the muttonchops. 30"x30". as the cycle ends, it must begin again. a new day rises, and with it, the muttonchops arrive to herald the new day. the muttonchops are often a man's first entrance to the world of beard cultivation, as he awakes one day to look in the mirror and say, "today, i will leave these sideburns; tomorrow they will grow, and the tomorrow after, and the tomorrow yet after." and day by day, a man begins to build his empire, slowly encroaching from his temples onto his cheeks. a new day. a new beard. with this, everything is possible.

"beard of the month club" has been sold. thank you for your interest and i hope you enjoyed seeing the paintings.

(back to the paintings)