Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):

2010: jan . : . feb
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec

you know i love to play scrabble...it's just that last time i played scrabble with you, you said that you were going to go back in time and kill my parents

go back in time
11-30-07

go back in time
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how do you like being a hand turkey? it's okay but i wish you had more fingers

hand turkey
11-29-07

hand turkey
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NEW RULES FOR SPORTS TO MAKE THEM BETTER. 1. Football teams should play BASEBALL teams at football. The baseball players are allowed to punch. 2. What if...okay. What if...women's...soccer...do they have that? 3. Like regular football, but they get swords.

new rules for sports
11-28-07

new rules for sports
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SCIENCE: 1907 "Let's discover and explore the world!" SCIENCE: 2007 "My uncle ain't a monkey!"

scientific advancement
11-27-07

scientific advancement
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i'm the "I" in insubordination

i stand for it
11-26-07

i stand for it
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TONIGHT ONLY: 7PM This Guy, Author of #1 bestseller "Me'N'My Pet Sushi: The Story of I Shoulda Got a Dog"

me n my pet sushi
11-25-07

me n my pet sushi
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THIRD-PARTY CANDIDATE WINS! Corporations "tired of enormous profit"

third party wins
11-24-07

third party wins
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i thought i already bought you a cell phone...why do you need another? the cell phone you bought me had candy inside

bought you a cell phone
11-23-07

bought you a cell phone
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This is your captain speaking...I think we just ran over an island.

ran over an island
11-22-07

ran over an island
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son, while you were at school, i found this hammer and sickle in your room...let me guess, you were just holding it for a friend, right?

hammer and sickle
11-21-07

hammer and sickle
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PRINTER ERROR: TAKE STUPID PINK PAPER OUT OF TRAY 3

stupid pink paper
11-20-07

stupid pink paper
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uh, hey...uh, so i think we're going to fire you what? why?! oh, you know...immigration or stocks or something

immigration or stocks
11-19-07

immigration or stocks
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on weekends when your friends are all busy and you don't have anything to do, here is a fun game to play: stare at the wall and think about how eventually, you and the wall both will be infinitely dispersed and at absolute zero in the heat death of the universe

heat death of the universe
11-18-07

heat death of the universe
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you can have my warcraft when you pull it from my cold, dead rolls

warcraft rolls
11-17-07

warcraft rolls
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HEY OLD GUY i know what a vinyl record is

when i was young blah blah blah
11-16-07

when i was young blah blah blah
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the more he farts, the more powerful he becomes STOP FARTING DOG

stop farting dog
11-15-07

stop farting dog
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1987 - Attached with cable - Friends make fun of you when you jerk the controller upward every time you jump 2007 - Wireless - Friends make fun of you when you are unable to jerk controller upwards the right way to make your guy jump

twenty years of jumping
11-14-07

twenty years of jumping
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okay...don't eat it until i'm done singing. waaaaaalalalalalalalaaaaahhh, lalaaaalalalaaaaaah, aaahhhh! okay eat it now

the falafel song
11-13-07

the falafel song
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TOOTHPASTE FOR DINNER SUDOKU: ULTIMATE CHALLENGE

sudoku ultimate challenge
11-12-07

sudoku ultimate challenge
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Panic! In The Basement On The Computer

todays teens
11-11-07

todays teens
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When you're at a party, and someone asks you what you do, be glad you don't have to say "cartoonist."

CARTOONIST
11-10-07

CARTOONIST
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well, scientifically speaking, it wouldn't be totally impossible for your hamster to eventually evolve into a dog, but chances are that your parents just bought you a dog so you wouldn't notice your hamster dying

hamster evolution
11-09-07

hamster evolution
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here's the position we're hiring for...you'll get paid a nice salary, but if the company every does anything unspeakable, you agree to take full responsibility for it

full responsibility
11-08-07

full responsibility
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did you hear we're gonna bomb iran? well, that confirms it...it's 1983 again. have we armed an extremist government's militia yet?

its 1983 again
11-07-07

its 1983 again
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NEW APPLE OPERATING SYSTEM RELEASED Promises to "fuck up your Pro Tools installation"

pro tools installation
11-06-07

pro tools installation
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Your attempt to get a better job has failed. You are in CALL CENTER. > QUIT Congratulations, you can now do anything, as long as it's free. > QUIT Quitting unemployment is called "getting a job."

quitting unemployment
11-05-07

quitting unemployment
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no, i don't want to borrow your cd, and have to let you come over to get it back

let you come over
11-04-07

let you come over
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our new ultra-widescreen monitor allows you to view 58% more ads with every web site you visit

ultra widescreen ads
11-03-07

ultra widescreen ads
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well, if delivering mail to the right place is so irritating to you, maybe you shouldn't be a mailman?

shouldnt be a mailman
11-02-07

shouldnt be a mailman
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hey, i was on your computer a little while you were on lunch...i really liked your message board posts, "sexecutioner"

on your computer
11-01-07

on your computer
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Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):

2010: jan . : . feb
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec