Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):
2010: jan . : . feb
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2010: jan . : . feb
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
sometimes people ask me, "what would you do if you had a million dollars?" and for years my answer has been the same three words: all-pistachio diet
ooooOOoOooOoooOOOOOOoooo FUN FACT: nobody actually likes panflute music, but most people assume it must be calming for everyone else
well, what do you see as your most negative quality whenever i mess something up, i get real sad and i grind the palm of my hand into my forehead and call myself "ol dunderhead" over and over ol dunderhead.... ol dunderhead ... just like that
do you want anything from the burger place no thanks, i'm a cregitarian i only eat crappy vegetables
OPTICAL ILLUSION: how many fingers am i holding up
lots of people want to be married to the sea no one wants to have marital relations with the sea
daaaaang O.D. (ORIGINAL DANGSTER)
i wish my car was this dirty
my great-great grandfather was a native american, which means that when i see someone litter, i shed one-sixteenth of a tear
yes, hello, is this the police? i need a squad car dispatched immediately my emergency is that i was just on the internet, and there was someone on it with a different opinion! ARREST THIS MAN IMMEDIATELY, HIS BEHAVIOR CAN NOT BE ALLOWED TO PERSIST!!!
welcome to the presidential suite WELCOME TO COLLEGE it's like a special version of real life that has trash just sort of laying around everywhere
this halloween i am dressing up as a poorly-done tribal tattoo DON'T STEAL MY IDEA
in middle school, i was known by all the other regional spelling bee contestants as "the spellacopter" chuckachuckachuckaCHUCKACHUCKA CAN I HAVE A DEFINITION PLEASE CHUCKACHUCKACHUCKA
HOW IS MY DATA ENTRY DESK #QR739 CALL 1-800-MIN-WAGE
FUN FACT: jesse jackson
hey, you wanna play scrabble well, i am not really that great at scrabble, but sure, i'll play let's make it interesting, how about a buck a point hustling scrabble: how i paid my way through college
hi, you've reached my car phone, i'm not in my car right now so please leave a message
WOOOOOOO!!! let's get this hipster party started!! let's bust out the imported beer and start condescendin' and name droppin'!!
could get my hands on that 8/9/06 SEAL oct. 9, 2002 flap flap flap. 8/9/06 someguy omg that jpeg is hot
the new HATE-O-TRON channels the hatred of fundamentalists, the greed of CEOs, the avarice of rappers, and the sheer maliciousness of children and cats i guess my next invention will have to turn all that hate into electricity or pies or rainbows or something
have you ever gone over to a friend's house and the toilet is just no good what CRAPPER'S DELIGHT
beep beedeep beep beep beep beep FUN FACT: all babies born after 1972 in the united states were implanted with computer chips to allow the government to track them throughout their entire lives it's in your left arm, you can just take it out. dig in there and get it. GET IT OUT
DOGS - offer a variety of pee-commerce solutions - implement a rugged pee-business infrastructure - will sell your unwanted collectables on peebay - urinate on the floor
HOW TO CURE A DEPRESSED TEENAGER what? you only got a 3.5 GPA? you are grounded for the entire summer
having attention deficit problems is not too bad. i have learned to work around the whooooossshhhh tornados are wickeddddd UH OH
FANTASY COCKTAIL LEAGUE: SEASON 5 the "nine to five": pour 4 oz coffee into coffee mug. add 4 oz dark rum. repeat until 3pm. leave early. hellooo
ha ha, that one was great...okay, i got one for you okay, so jeff goldblum walks into a bar. the bartender says, what do you want. jeff goldblum says, i'll have a OH HOLY CHRIST I AM TURNING INTO A GIANT FLY
THIS DAY IN HISTORY: on this day in 1884, the color beige was invented, and marked the first time that a color had been specifically designed to crush a man's soul
thank you! that one was called "ten minutes of generic blues noodling"! this next one's my favorite, it's called "generic metal riff, over and over"
hey jim do you want to have an adventure? yeah me neither let's sit inside and watch tv though they seemed harmless at the time, my parents later regretted buying me a complete set of inaction figures
Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):
2010: jan . : . feb
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2010: jan . : . feb
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec