Superpoop: 2014
Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2005: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2004: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
 

Toothpaste For Dinner comic: just one sweatervest * Text: 

FUN FACT:


did you know that it takes over four hundred dashed hopes and broken dreams to make just one sweatervest?
05-31-05

just one sweatervest

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: we must respectfully decline * Text: 

Dear Drew:


Thank you for submitting your script. Regretfully, we do not have the budget to produce
05-30-05

we must respectfully decline

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: welcome to upper arlington * Text: 

say there neighbor, can i trouble you for an eighth of a teaspoon of saffron and a few capers?
05-29-05

welcome to upper arlington

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the electric pencil sharpener * Text: 

rumrumrumrum REE-E-E-E-E-EEEeerr nnun, nun, nun


here is an idea for you: maybe when you come to the library next time DON'T BRING AN ELECTRIC PENCIL SHARPENER AND USE IT ON AN ENTIRE BOX OF COLORED PENCILS
05-28-05

the electric pencil sharpener

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: rap concept album * Text: 

RAP


CONCEPT ALBUM


i am making a rap concept album


the concept is
05-27-05

rap concept album

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: pullin on facial piercings * Text: 

PULLIN' ON FACIAL PIERCINGS


AAAGGGHHHHH


ALWAYS FUN
05-26-05

pullin on facial piercings

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: less famous eating disorders * Text: 

LESS-FAMOUS EATING DISORDERS


GUACAREXIA. a condition characterized by the use of guacamole as the sole nutrition source.


FRENCHFREMIA. sufferers of this claim to be vegans, but in fact subsist chiefly on french fries.


PICKYEATEA. people with this disorder subsist only on hot dogs and chewable childrens' vitamins.
05-25-05

less famous eating disorders

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: hey there tiger * Text: 

hey there tiger


how you want your hair cut - crappy, extra crappy, or so crappy it makes you look like a little kid
05-24-05

hey there tiger

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: internet broken stop send help soon * Text: 

tap tap tap tap tap tap


DOOT DOO-DOO DOO DOOT DOOT


INTERNET BROKEN STOP BACKUP PORN SUPPLY RUNNING OUT STOP SEND HELP SOON STOP END TRANSMISSION
05-23-05

internet broken stop send help soon

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: dead children and heroin * Text: 

over the past seven years, scientists at NASA have toiled ceaselessly to create this engine which is forty percent more efficient than standard internal-combustion engines


it is powered by dead children and heroin, cutting fossil fuel consumption by nearly ninety percent
05-22-05

dead children and heroin

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: bigfoot band * Text: 

hey man, i see you all the time at shows around town...i'm trying to get a band together, do you play any instruments?


yeah, just one, it's called
05-21-05

bigfoot band

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: a little bit of medicine * Text: 

FUN FACT:


remember, kids: if a little bit of medicine makes you feel better, a lot will make you feel great!! also, don't tell your mom tat, because she doesn't want you to have fun!
05-20-05

a little bit of medicine

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: get paid in oxen * Text: 

hey sheila... uh, i'm gonna be going to oregon this weekend, so do you know if there's any way i could just get paid in oxen? i'll need a few, some of em are gonna drown when we ford rivers
05-19-05

get paid in oxen

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: caution meat farts * Text: 

CAUTION


ACHTUNG ATTENTION CUIDADO


MEAT FARTS IN VICINITY
05-18-05

caution meat farts

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: what makes bigfoot mad * Text: 

WHAT MAKES BIGFOOT MAD


- not being able to smoke inside


- bipartisan politics


= being asked to
05-17-05

what makes bigfoot mad

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: tend your farm * Text: 

ohhhhhhhhh...


if you're amish and you know it, tend your farm


if you're amish and you know it, tend your farm
05-16-05

tend your farm

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: technology has progressed * Text: 

i just returned two separate cell phones because they failed to work as soon as i purchased them


it's great to know that technology has progressed to the point that companies can make billions of dollars even though their products just don't work at all
05-15-05

technology has progressed

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: million dollar idea * Text: 

MILLION DOLLAR IDEA


this tastes excellent


an edible, flavored, powdered gel product that is a desiccant like silica gel - however, instead of being marked
05-14-05

million dollar idea

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: restraining order * Text: 

ohay, so here's the new reality show i developed:


we're gonna scour the internet for obsessive stalkers and form a rap group with five of them, called RE$TRAINING ORDER


the first single will be called
05-13-05

restraining order

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: overtones of cherry and oak * Text: 

it has a tart, spicy taste, with overtones of cherry and oak, and a salty finish...what's in this one


well, it's a blend of thirty percent syrah, seventy percent pinot noir, and then i jizzed in your glass before handing it to you
05-12-05

overtones of cherry and oak

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: john henry and the machines * Text: 

rrrrr


MACHINES THAT JOHN HENRY BEAT:


- electric can opener


- electric griddle


- electric washer/drier


- offset printing press


- copy machine


- steam drill*


- electric coffeemaker


* barely
05-11-05

john henry and the machines

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: fire him pope style * Text: 

okay, so let's say you catch your coworker stealing...what would you do then?


i say we fire him pope-style


we'll get a silver hammer, hit him in the head three times, and then use it to smash his ring
05-10-05

fire him pope style

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: columbus rap scene 2005 * Text: 

COLUMBUS, OHIO RAP SCENE 2005


THA ARCHERZ


MC SCHOOL FOR THE BLIND


GRANDPA IN A STARTER JACKET


THACO, CHAOTIC GOOD ELF WARRIOR (INVENTORY CONTAINS AMULET OF TIGHT FLOWS, +1 VS SUCKA MCS)
05-09-05

columbus rap scene 2005

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: fahrenheit * Text: 

the temperature...at which natural gas burns


FAHRENHEIT: SOMEONE KEEPS TURNING UP THE THERMOSTAT, IT'S LIKE NINETY DEGREES IN HERE
05-08-05

fahrenheit

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: complaints new and improved * Text: 

COMPLAINTS


COMPLAINTS!!! new and improved! look for them soon at a blog near you!


comments(0)
05-07-05

complaints new and improved

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: bigfoot cubicle * Text: 

drew, this is bigfoot...he's going to be sharing your cubicle for a few months until we move into the bigger office
05-06-05

bigfoot cubicle

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: cinco de mayo * Text: 

honk honk


how do most offices celebrate cinco de mayo? in ohio the answer is
05-05-05

cinco de mayo

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: fundraiser cookie * Text: 

FUN FACT: everyone at work has, at least once, if only for an instant, thought about taking a cooking from the little fund-raiser table in the breakroom without paying
05-04-05

fundraiser cookie

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the day that everyone was completely honest * Text: 

brotha i ain't gonna lie, i just want a dolla to go get some beer


yeah, profits went down last quarter, so i had to fire six hundred of you to continue to afford my private jet
05-03-05

the day that everyone was completely honest

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: this is not a frat * Text: 

DICKS


HAMSTER this is not a fraternity and if i ever wake up with anything written on my head ever again, you are going back to the pet store
05-02-05

this is not a frat

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the supervisor of screwing up orders * Text: 

well, i don't think we're getting anywhere here, so can you put me through to the manager of the total incompetence department, or the supervisor of screwing up orders, or whoever is in charge of your department
05-01-05

the supervisor of screwing up orders

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Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2005: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2004: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec