Crudbump: Rap & Beats
Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2005: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2004: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
 

Toothpaste For Dinner comic: children are like flowers * Text: 

children are like flowers, oh-ho who failed to grow


deaf people are like flowers, hey hey that forgot how to hear
01-31-05

children are like flowers
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: dripster * Text: 

did you hear what i just put on the jukebox? URRRP man i love the flaming lips! WOOO THE FLAMING LIPS AW RIGHT


dripster. n. contraction of
01-30-05

dripster
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:





Toothpaste For Dinner comic: keyboard number two * Text: 

and now i lay thee to rest, keyboard #2 that i have destroyed in as many months


both fought bravely but could not overcome the destructive power of diet cherry soda
01-29-05

keyboard number two
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: cheer up kiddo * Text: 

cheer up, kiddo


when you get older you'll be able to drink until you're so chronically debilitated you can't form new memories at all
01-28-05

cheer up kiddo
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: generic version of the bagel * Text: 

what i've been thinking is, we'll create a generic version of the bagel, to get around the patents


we'll undercut the brand name bagels...i'm thinking we can call it
01-27-05

generic version of the bagel
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:





Toothpaste For Dinner comic: a long straight road * Text: 

if you're driving down a long, straight road on a hot summer day and the road looks like it's wet, even if it's not, that means you have cancer
01-26-05

a long straight road
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: chain memos * Text: 

here's a memo for you...now, remember, you have to copy it and post it on seven bulletin boards within the next week, or you will be in trouble


one man in the chicago branch forgot to make copies before posting, and the next day, his coffee mug was suddenly gone
01-25-05

chain memos
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: a haiku about how i used petty cash to rent DVDs * Text: 

i have arranged this month's expense report into short sections of seventeen spreadsheet cells, in the pattern 5-7-5


i feel it reflects the beauty and balance present in the forms and shapes of our department
01-24-05

a haiku about how i used petty cash to rent DVDs
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:





Toothpaste For Dinner comic: fossil fuel terrorists * Text: 

my fellow americans, our world-wide oil reserves are at an all-time low, which is a strong and immediate threat to the american way of living


this is why, earlier today, i signed a bill from congress declaring war on dinosaurs, who are directly responsible for this global threat to our oil supply


we will stop these terrorists, and turn them into fossil fuels at any cost
01-23-05

fossil fuel terrorists
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: while in pittsburgh * Text: 

THE WORST IDEA I EVER HAD


hey, while i'm in pittsburgh, i think i'll have some undercooked fish for dinner
01-22-05

while in pittsburgh
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: i love you like i love my brother * Text: 

listen...i love you, but i love you like i love my brother, okay?


yeah, that's cool...i love you too, but i love you more like the way i love leaving a briefcase full of bricks in a crowded subway station
01-21-05

i love you like i love my brother
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:





Toothpaste For Dinner comic: thank you for calling the drew show * Text: 

thank you for calling the drew show...caller, go ahead


hey drew, i love your show! anyway i called to ask - how do i get my son to stop jumping on the bed


well, caller, this is pretty common...i suggest you just crush his ambitions until he loses the will to live


for example, if he wants to be a fireman, tell him that he'll never be a fireman, no matter how hard he tries. then drown his guinea pig. that'll do it. next caller go ahead
01-20-05

thank you for calling the drew show
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: christmas cropping * Text: 

the graphic designers go christmas cropping in december


i scanned in some pictures from your desk and cut you out of them


this is what the world would be like...if you were NEVER BORN


NEVERRRR BORRRRNNN
01-19-05

christmas cropping
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the half hour line at the post office * Text: 

let it snow let it snowwwwww thank you


i hate you
01-18-05

the half hour line at the post office
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:





Toothpaste For Dinner comic: college was depressing * Text: 

FOODS I COOKED ON A WAFFLE IRON WHILE IN COLLEGE


- bags of frozen vegetables


- rice


- meatless
01-17-05

college was depressing
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: brewin with drew * Text: 

when i asked you to contribute to the company newsletter, i was looking for something a little more positive than
01-16-05

brewin with drew
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: cincinnati air freshener * Text:
01-15-05

cincinnati air freshener
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:





Toothpaste For Dinner comic: aeschylus vs drew vs legoman * Text: 

we have reached the end of the earth...this is desolation itself


chain this rebel, lego man, to the rock


DO NOT LET YOUR CHILDREN READ GREEK PLAYS OR THIS WILL HAPPEN
01-14-05

aeschylus vs drew vs legoman
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: remember who will choose your nursing home * Text: 

QUICK TIP: are you a parent? if so, remember who will choose your nursing home


SHADY SHITTERS FECAL HOME FOR THE SHITTY
01-13-05

remember who will choose your nursing home
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: drews presidential plan * Text: 

MY PLAN IF I AM ELECTED PRESIDENT


we will give the pristine wilderness of the upper peninsula of michigan to canada, because they will actually appreciate it


we've had this state for years, yet you've never gone to visit the upper peninsula


now, your neighbors, canada, they know how to appreciate the beauty of a northern wonderland


i hope you learn your lesson this time
01-12-05

drews presidential plan
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:





Toothpaste For Dinner comic: feisty young troublemaker * Text: 

i got a cane the other day so when i finally get old enough to need it, i'll be so proficient with it that i can put out a feisty young troublemaker's eye without even blinking
01-11-05

feisty young troublemaker
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: a man a plan a canal * Text: 

a man, a plan, a canal...mexico
01-10-05

a man a plan a canal
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: part of the solution * Text: 

if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate
01-09-05

part of the solution
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:





Toothpaste For Dinner comic: sugar free mint patties * Text: 

sugar free mint patties: for those times you want to cut your sugar intake and have two hours of eggy farts at the same time
01-08-05

sugar free mint patties
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the moldy peaches are finally on tv * Text: 

i'm kimya dawson! thundercats! playdoh! cereal! rrraaAAAAARRRGGGHHHHH


real-life stories: when good bands...GO BAD!


hosted by adam green
01-07-05

the moldy peaches are finally on tv
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: i am sorry for making you so depressed * Text: 

unlike people who grew up in the 20th century, the youth of today know there are no flying cars or jetpacks in our future; fatter people, worse drivers, and more advertisements will fill our lives in 2050
01-06-05

i am sorry for making you so depressed
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:





Toothpaste For Dinner comic: how to clean up your house * Text: 

yep, here it is, just like i told you - the government says they're going to take away your legos unless you go clean them up right now


i'm sorry, son, my hands are tied. i guess you gotta clean up your room
01-05-05

how to clean up your house
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: satans own bakery * Text: 

NO


you can't have


not for you


when i die and go to hell i will be on the atkins diet and the only place to eat will be satan's own bakery
01-04-05

satans own bakery
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: cant have anything nice * Text: 

HAMSTER you chewed up the pieces of wood i gave you, ate all the sunflower seeds i set out, and crapped all over the nice soft litter i put in your cage! THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE ANYTHING NICE
01-03-05

cant have anything nice
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:





Toothpaste For Dinner comic: wearing pastries * Text: 

when i was a kid i overhead some people talking about a strip club, and it was years before i realized that strippers didn't come out on stage wearing pastries
01-02-05

wearing pastries
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: on account of me being roasted * Text: 

this is your captain speaking, i'd like to remind you all to keep your seatbelts on during the entire flight, on account of me being totally roasted
01-01-05

on account of me being roasted
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2005: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2004: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec