Superpoop: 2014
Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2005: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2004: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
 

Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the magic pen * Text: 

here i have a normal pen, i will pass it around so that everyone can examine it and verify that it is normal


now, before your very eyes, i will use this completely normal pen to doodle through the remaining two hours of this meeting
02-28-05

the magic pen

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: steak based initiatives * Text: 

thank you, citizens of the internet, for electing me your internet president


i will be rolling out my new steak-based initiatives, starting with the NO STEAK LEFT BEHIND ACT
02-27-05

steak based initiatives

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: coffee rapper * Text: 

don't push me cause i'm close to the edge


if you are gonna rap along to the music at the coffee shop, you better be prepared for me to call you out and have a rap battle on the spot, right next to the table with all the napkins
02-26-05

coffee rapper

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: white tennis shoes * Text: 

white tennis shoes: the biggest mistake of the twentieth century
02-25-05

white tennis shoes

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the stoic warrior * Text: 

the stoic warrior stands alone...protected by his cold, unshakable demeanor


the warrior wonders if there is anything new on slashdot
02-24-05

the stoic warrior

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: video games influence kids * Text: 

i don't think video games influence kids...i mean, if they did, there'd be an entire internet subculture based around them, and people would stay up late every night playing them, waking up in the afternoon and pausing only to post on the internet about video games
02-23-05

video games influence kids

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: what you oughta do about it * Text: 

yeahhhhh


toys toys toys


PARENTS: do you let your kids run around inside a store and yell while you ignore them? if so, i'm sure you'd like to know what some snide twenty-something dude things you oughta do about it
02-22-05

what you oughta do about it

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: living out the american dream * Text: 

yeah, i'm pretty much living out the american dream


not only did i marry someone with health insurance, but thanks to the declining value of the dollar, i'm paying less rent every day
02-21-05

living out the american dream

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: bad poetry * Text: 

sometimes i listen / to a rock band / in my room / i am very sad


bad poetry? oh noetry!
02-20-05

bad poetry

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: when janitors die * Text: 

when janitors die they go to heaven and throw their trash on the floor and dead CEOs and politicians have to pick it up


just kidding...there's no such thing as heaven
02-19-05

when janitors die

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: my order was WRONG * Text: 

and then i pulled thru and picked up my order and it was WRONG!


it's almost like the place is run by a multi-national corporation who beefs up its profits by underpaying its apathetic seventeen-year-old employees
02-18-05

my order was WRONG

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: you have been late twice * Text: 

drew you have been late twice this week, i printed off part of the employee code for you to read and remind yourself about the rules here


oh hey thanks! i just printed off this page for you explaining how i won't start to care until i get paid a living wage
02-17-05

you have been late twice

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: third party office * Text: 

Welcome to ThirdParty Office!


I see that you started a new document. Do you need help in:


- Screed explaining why Democrats and Republicans are the same


- Screed demanding equal media coverage


- Screed comparing Canadian elections to US elections


- General Screed template
02-16-05

third party office

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: tetris song * Text: 

dun! dun dun dun, dun dun DUN, dun dun dun, dun dun dun, duh-duh-duh dun TETRIS SONG


dun dun DUN, dun nuh nuh duh nuh duh-duh-dun, dunna dun dun TETRIS SONG
02-15-05

tetris song

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: every model train set * Text: 

behind every model train set stands someone's dad, with rolled-up sleeves and a short glass of whisky
02-14-05

every model train set

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: sorry wont cut it * Text: 

BUTCHER do you call this a london broil, it is barely even a top round


sorry drew


SORRY WON'T CUT A LONDON BROIL MISTER
02-13-05

sorry wont cut it

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: me the jury * Text: 

here, i got you a necklace with a charged crystal on it, to channel your energies


yes, your honor, we have reached a verdict


me, the jury, in a unanimous decision, finds you DUMPED
02-12-05

me the jury

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the saddest thing * Text: 

THE SADDEST THING I CAN THINK OF


can i maybe borrow one of your turtles


no


everyone at school has a little baby turtle except for one boy


the kids all have a turtle party where they all bring their turtles but if you don't have a little turtle you can't come


no one will let him borrow a turtle. he does not get to go to the party. he has to stay home. he sits in his room and tries to draw a picture but his tears ruin everything he tries to draw
02-11-05

the saddest thing

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: nippleaire * Text: 

if i had a nickel for every time my nipples got sore in cold weather, i'd be a millionaire


a nippleairrrrre
02-10-05

nippleaire

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: chinese new year resolutions * Text: 

CHINESE NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS


i will stop opening fortune cookies until i find one i like


my restaurant will stop pretending its buffet is in any way
02-09-05

chinese new year resolutions

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: mobius belt * Text: 

today i put on my belt and it was tighter than usual


upon examination i had accidentally put a half twist in the belt and worn a MOBIUS BELT for over ten minutes


I WEAR THE MOBIUS BELT!!! I AM THE TAILOR OF THE VERY FABRIC OF THE UNIVERSE
02-08-05

mobius belt

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: l drew rubbard * Text: 

are you wondering where you fit into the world?


do you ever wonder what it all means?


is your blood sugar unstable due to your body's inability to produce insulin?


the answers to these, and other important questions, lie in one book...DIABETICS
02-07-05

l drew rubbard

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: panflute flowchart * Text: 

PANFLUTE FLOWCHART


do you need one


NO


no panflute


YES


no you don't
02-06-05

panflute flowchart

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: in the dorito aisle * Text: 

THE MOST UNNECESSARY THING EVER:


B-B-BEEP


i'm in the dorito aisle, do you want cool ranch or nacho cheese, over


CELL PHONE WALKIE TALKIES
02-05-05

in the dorito aisle

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: hot dog pork rind * Text: 

we have worked for decades to create a product with the highest pork density on earth, and finally we have succeeded


now available for the first time ever: the hot dog-flavored pork rind
02-04-05

hot dog pork rind

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: high pitched television * Text: 

when i was little, i could hear a high-pitched sound whenever a television was on anywhere - even if the volume was turned all the way down and i was in the next room


nobody else i knew could hear it so i thought i had something wrong with me
02-03-05

high pitched television

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: heres your badge * Text: 

here's your badge...you'll have to swipe it every time you enter or leave a building, go between departments, or use the stairs


oh, and since you're a temp, you'll have to park on the other side of the building from where you have to check in with the receptionist every morning
02-02-05

heres your badge

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: glory holette * Text: 

it took years to develop, but i finally patented the holy grail of restroom designers everywhere:


the women's-restroom glory hole
02-01-05

glory holette

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Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2005: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2004: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec