Superpoop: 2014
Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2005: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2004: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2003: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2002: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
 

Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the can factory * Text: 

after graduating college, i had a variety of awful jobs like working in a can factory, and whenever i felt bad, i would keep my spirits high by remembering: well, at least i'm not in grad school
09-30-04

the can factory
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: college days * Text: 

man, i miss being in college...living in the ghetto, hanging out with a bunch of cargo pants, the crushing desperation of having to do elaborate busywork for pseudointellectual sycophants...


those were glorious days
09-29-04

college days
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: my fellow laborers * Text: 

my fellow laborers, remember:


a small donation to your local authorities will ensure that when the terror threat level rises to red and we go to martial law, your workplace will be closed
09-28-04

my fellow laborers
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the flap flap * Text: 

after an exhaustive study we have concluded that the only way to improve the classic flip-flop sandal is by renaming it to something more evocative of its grandeur


ladies and gentlemen, i present to you...THE FLAP-FLAP!!
09-27-04

the flap flap
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: get out of the hallway * Text: 

if you don't like the way i segway GET OUT OF THE HALLWAY
09-26-04

get out of the hallway
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the jam session * Text: 

whenever anyone i know wants to
09-25-04

the jam session
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: another great interview * Text: 

so, how did you like college


oh, i didn't think much of classes


so you were more into the environment of learning then?


no, mostly the holidays, and the graduation
09-24-04

another great interview
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: muted trumpet * Text: 

waaah wah


some people wonder when i became bitter and angry and the answer is:


when my application to play muted trumpet in the junior high marching band was rejected
09-23-04

muted trumpet
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: komodo dragon * Text: 

i would recommend the double almond cloaca


i hate to sound racist, but i hate going to the coffee shop when that damn komodo dragon is working
09-22-04

komodo dragon
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: drews rule of grandparents * Text: 

drew's rule of grandparents:


the meanest ones always live the longest
09-21-04

drews rule of grandparents
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: brush teeth * Text: 

BRUSH TEETH BEFORE SPITTING IN FOOD
09-20-04

brush teeth
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: non cell phone users * Text: 

WHAT NON-CELL PHONE USERS DON'T KNOW


myah myah myah


MICROPHONE IS WEAK: PLEASE TALK LOUDLY INTO IT
09-19-04

non cell phone users
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: mixed nuts * Text: 

crunch crunch


shake shake


than you for picking through my can of mixed nuts and eating all the pecans, hazelnuts, and almonds. if it weren't for you, i would be doomed to eat a confusing melange of nuts, rather than a half-full tin of greasy peanuts
09-18-04

mixed nuts
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: rubber policeman * Text: 

THIS DAY IN CHEMISTRY HISTORY:


1952: sensing a lack of hilarity in the field, the english chemist p. walter henries renames the little rubber scraper that attaches to a stirring rod a
09-17-04

rubber policeman
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: short legs * Text: 

my legs are slightly shorter than average, so i can never find pants that fit


after i lost some weight a while ago i was pleased to discover that not only did pants still not fit me, but neither did shirts
09-16-04

short legs
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: interior decoration tip * Text: 

to make your apartment more lively, try adding one or two bears in the living room as an accent
09-15-04

interior decoration tip
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: lightning bugs * Text: 

lightning bugs: too slow to resist catching, yet too bitter to eat more than a handful at one sitting
09-14-04

lightning bugs
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: snakes and cobra snakes * Text: 

every summer i buy boxes and boxes of snakes, but am too embarrassed to admit i like them in front of other people, so i hide them and sneak out here and there to set off a bunch of them
09-13-04

snakes and cobra snakes
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: i like my coffee * Text: 

i like my coffee like i like my women


autistic
09-12-04

i like my coffee
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: middle fingers * Text: 

middle fingers FOR EVERYONE!!!


WHOOOOOSHHH
09-11-04

middle fingers
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: beard of the month club * Text: 

i am not only the president of the beard of the month club...


i am also the vice president
09-10-04

beard of the month club
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the gipper * Text: 

well, the gipper's finally passed on, it's the end of an era


the bombing will begin in five minutes
09-09-04

the gipper
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: another great idea turned crappy * Text: 

ANOTHER GREAT IDEA TURNED CRAPPY:


i went to three grocery stores looking for hardwood chips to put in the grill, found some hickory, and cooked three steaks, only to find out that hickory-smoked steak just tastes like beef jerky
09-08-04

another great idea turned crappy
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: mean scrabble guy part 2 * Text: 

MEAN SCRABBLE GUY


shink shink


WATCH OUT, YOU MAY BE HIS NEXT VICTIM
09-07-04

mean scrabble guy part 2
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the scrabble club * Text: 

shink shink shink


the other day while i was at the coffee shop i happened upon the scrabble club


one guy would shake the bag of tiles violently as he stared at his opponent to intimidate them, even the nine-year-old who appeared to be his son
09-06-04

the scrabble club
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: labor day * Text: 

why do they call it labor day if you just spend the whole day going through the trash of the girl who works at the video store
09-05-04

labor day
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the free speech zone * Text: 

HAMSTER i have exciting news! after watching the democratic national convention, i have decided to rechristen your cage the
09-04-04

the free speech zone
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: my own medical problems * Text: 

that was excellent! okay, now it's your turn to stand here for twenty minutes while i talk to you about my own medical problems
09-03-04

my own medical problems
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: every REM album * Text: 

every REM album of the past ten years has been
09-02-04

every REM album
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: what are you thinking about * Text: 

you look down, partner, whatcha thinkin' about


oh, i'm not sad, i was just thinking about making drawings on an orange using a magnifying glass to focus sunlight and burn it


when people at work ask me what i'm thinking about, i like to tell them exactly what i am thinking about
09-01-04

what are you thinking about
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Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2005: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2004: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2003: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2002: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec