Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):
2010: jan . : . feb . : . mar
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2010: jan . : . feb . : . mar
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
i hate you forever dad the one bad thing about naming your son "banjo"
i was going to get divorced, but i got left at the altar the altar of divorce altarrrr of divorrrrrrce
i do not just simply put things into a crawl space and take them out, that is a very simplistic view of my business i offer a wide variety of crawl space solution packages, payment can be made with your choice of torsos or appendages
FUN FACT: all IT employees are required to grow and maintain this beard, as mandated by federal law
i met my match on longgggarms.personals.yahoo.com
why i should never write down my dreams: i picked up a piece of paper next to my bed today, and all it said on it, scrawled in half-asleep chicken-scratch, was "rick rubin and his five-foot comb"
i can't believe i got all the way through middle school all the way through high school all the way through college and there was no underwater level
i installed a shortwave radio so i could drive around with my windows down and blast number stations while i cruise uno...tres...siete...tres...cinco...uno...tres...siete...tres...cinco...
i am the god of hellfire, and i bring you...fi-ah!!
have you ever noticed? how all of your sentences? sound like they end in questions?
the federal deficit keeps going up if i were a speech writer i would use emoticons in every speech THE FEDERAL DEFICIT KEEPS GOING UP D:
whenever i get depressed thinking about how i can't retire from my job for at least thirty more years, i think: well, maybe i'll die before that, and won't have to work that long after all
gettin real inopportune like a bowl of saskatoon but you know i'm where it's at like MEDICINE HAT if i ever end up rapping i will name-drop canadian cities whose names i like
dammit, where'd i put my keys at i'll help you look for them, as soon as you put a dollar in the "end a sentence in a preposition" jar
aaaah believe it or not, i can only stick my tongue out this far
my favorite "the finger" method: cranking the drawbridge
whoa-ho whoa-ho-hoa whoaaa beer every thursday night i go out to "backup karaoke" at the local bar
i pull a 1-8-7 with my stump in ya mouth beeyotch i predict that the next musical genre to become widely popular will be amputee gangsta rap
i am voting fourth party this year the campaign headquarters is in my crawl space and the voting booth is the crawl space and the ballot is three hundred tennis shoes in the crawl space
in every office...there is one cubicle...which will never forget NINE ELEVEN COWORKER: WHY DO THEY STILL HAVE ALL THOSE POSTERS UP, IT'S KIND OF EMBARRASSING
now that pirates are completely played out, i had to hock my hook-hand and eye patch and start looking for another 18th-century subculture to stereotype and abuse thanks, everyone
mr. robarb, i would estimate the value of this antique chair to be ten to fifteen thousand dollars i found it in the crawl space does this make you feel good about finding it? it makes me feel like i can afford to buy twenty-five illegal costa rican babies to fill the crawl space back up
you have acronegaly what a glandular disorder characterized by swelling of the hands and feet no i don't as a child, i would often use rare medical insults to confuse my peers and lead them into the "if your hand is bigger than your face, you have cancer" trap
well, if you ask for tomatoes you might as well ask for onions...even if you like tomatoes, most people want onions, so why not ask for them on your sub in the first place hey, they're better than green peppers, right? political voting logic at the sub shop
PUTTING BAGS IN OTHER BAGS what is my hobby, it is to put bags inside other bags
my fellow americans, fear not that we will back down from OPERATION: CONTINUOUS WARFARE in fact, you will be pleased to hear that tomorrow is the official first day of OPERATION: PROPAGATING DOMESTIC POVERTY and OPERATION: LET'S SEND ALL OUR TEENAGERS TO THE DESERT
only morrissey looks good with this haircut (and you are not morrissey.)
son, after last weekend, i thought i should get you this book...it has some things we've already talked about in it, but i think you will enjoy it any way it is called "chicken soup for we all want grandma to hurry up and die, but you can't say it out loud"
nine years ago, i bet jesse jackson twenty bucks that he couldn't go ten years without smiling
in a study done earlier this year, scientists noted that over 90% of the players in funk bands were not satisfied with the amount of funk they could acquire and use; many of them explicitly shouted to large crowds that they needed more funk it is this committee's opinion, therefore, that funk can be classified as a schedule I drug under DEA guidelines for addiction and abuse potential
FUN FACT: an extremely slow, metal cover "the end of the world as we know it" would be both unnecessary and awesome at the same time just say the lyrics slowly in a growl voice: THAT'S GREAT IT STARTS WITH AN EARTH!! QUAKE!!
Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):
2010: jan . : . feb . : . mar
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2010: jan . : . feb . : . mar
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec