Superpoop: 2014
Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2005: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2004: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2003: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2002: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
 

Toothpaste For Dinner comic: only the word dog * Text: 

son, listen to me here - don't take drugs unless you think staying up all night writing poetry using only the word
07-31-04

only the word dog
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: old part 3 * Text: 

HOW TO TELL WHEN YOU ARE OLD: PART 3


babies everywhere


congratulations


when people your age tell others they are pregnant, everyone congratulates them instead of saying
07-30-04

old part 3
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the atkins diet * Text: 

THINGS YOU MAY NOT KNOW ABOUT THE ATKINS DIET


single chin


steak in belly


hard boiled eggs


two heads of lettuce


- saturated fats and high-cholesterol foods are discouraged after the first two weeks


- after losing their first 20 pounds, atkins dieters gain power of levitation


- upon reaching
07-29-04

the atkins diet
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: work at home * Text: 

make up to two thousand dollars a month stuffing envelopes! use receipts, paper clips, other peoples' hair, things you find on the sidewalk! FILL YOUR CLOSETS WITH BROKEN APPLIANCES!! EAT NOTHING BUT APRICOTS!!!! THE WORLD IS YOURS
07-28-04

work at home
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: so many sad elephants * Text: 

waaaaheeoh yaaahhh


now fade to black and play an african chant sample over a 1993-era trip-hop beat as the text scrolls slowly by, reading
07-27-04

so many sad elephants
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: afterbeef * Text: 

afterbeef. n. the short, percussive conclusion to a long or powerful beef


frooooooeeeee... POP
07-26-04

afterbeef
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: marijuana issues * Text: 

i would like to propose a compromise with respect to marijuana use so that we can finally solve this issue


my plan is that marijuana will be legalized, but jam bands, hemp products, and patchouli will be outlawed
07-25-04

marijuana issues
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: when we die * Text: 

well, son, all i know is that when we die, we never have to listen to smooth jazz ever again, so if you ever get worried again, just think of that
07-24-04

when we die
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: now what are we gonna listen to * Text: 

crap, i should have charged my pi-pod before i left
07-23-04

now what are we gonna listen to
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: low carb birthday * Text: 

happy birthday!! now blow out all the candles on your birthday steak!


my low-carb birthday
07-22-04

low carb birthday
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: life of the unemployed * Text: 

i let my hair grow out for seven months just so my drivers license photo would look awesome
07-21-04

life of the unemployed
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: my favorite office prank * Text: 

my favorite office prank is to give a crackhead twenty-five bucks and tell him you'll give him seventy-five more if he knocks the windows out of the boss's car


it's like colt 45...works every time
07-20-04

my favorite office prank
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: what did you major in * Text: 

so i see you have a bachelor's degree... what did you major in


i majored in bidness


nunyo bidness
07-19-04

what did you major in
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: midi telephone * Text: 

beedle deedle donk


thanks to technology, the most annoying sound in the world is no longer people listening to bleepy ring-tones in public, but instead, people listening to all their phone's available midi songs
07-18-04

midi telephone
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the tenor guitar * Text: 

jing jing j-j-j-j-jing


the tenor guitar: outside of mexico, it is perhaps the most misunderstood of all instruments


in this six-part documentary, i will play the mexican hat dance over and over on the tenor guitar UNTIL YOU RECOGNIZE
07-17-04

the tenor guitar
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: coffee intervention * Text: 

how was your weekend


my family did another stupid intervention


they were all like
07-16-04

coffee intervention
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: speak softly * Text: 

QUICK TIP:


speak softly and carry someone's ripped-off arm around with you
07-15-04

speak softly
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: corporate policy change * Text: 

CORPORATE POLICY CHANGE:


all employees are now required to carry a hoop at all times and to jump through it prior to the completion of any task. failure to do so will be grounds for dismissal
07-14-04

corporate policy change
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: help is on the way * Text: 

if i can ever bring the rapping bum together with the bum who reads everything he sees out loud continuously, i will have created an unstoppable musical force


help is on the way! buckeyes are here to stay!


student special four for five dollars, new taste deals
07-13-04

help is on the way
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: life is like * Text: 

life is like a grocery conveyor belt...we emerge and disappear shortly into the checkout aisle thing and in between, we have eggs and milk put on top of us, and...


uh, the one thing stops it when stuff passes by
07-12-04

life is like
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: cigarettes for favors * Text: 

HAMSTER i don't care if you live in a cage, you still do not need to trade me cigarettes for favors
07-11-04

cigarettes for favors
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: bad low carb diet * Text: 

youuuu can't eat ussssss


the only bad part of a low-carb diet is that, occasionally, donuts, bread, and potatoes torment me with their terrible screaming
07-10-04

bad low carb diet
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: just say no to travelling * Text: 

i found this in your room...a passport, son? did you really think you could travel to other countries without your mother and i knowing?
07-09-04

just say no to travelling
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: two bucks a gallon * Text: 

man, gas is two bucks a gallon now


what?! oh, crap, and here i thought that fossil fuels were totally renewable and would last forever
07-08-04

two bucks a gallon
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: old part two * Text: 

HOW TO TELL YOU ARE OLD, PART 2


when you hurt your back jumping on the bed and realize you are too old and fragile to ever do it again
07-07-04

old part two
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: how to tell if you are old * Text: 

HOW TO TELL IF YOU ARE OLD


oh man, they're playing in cleveland, but not here


when your favorite band is on tour, but they don't come to your city, and the closest stop is two hours away, and you don't want to drive all that way to see them, you are old
07-06-04

how to tell if you are old
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: coffeeshop black ops * Text: 

DREW: COFFEESHOP BLACK OPS SPECIALIST


when you get up from your clean, non-wobbly table, i will know. and i will take it.
07-05-04

coffeeshop black ops
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the hamster patriot act * Text: 

HAMSTER i would love to set you free but you have been


classified as an
07-04-04

the hamster patriot act
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: instrumental rock science * Text: 

SCIENCE TRIVIA:


did you know that the more members an instrumental rock band has, the worse they are?


studies have shown that the optimum number is zero
07-03-04

instrumental rock science
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: pure hypnotic latte * Text: 

LOCAL SEMI-CELEBRITY UPDATE


i saw damon zex and the black witch at the coffee shop. he ordered a latte.


a latte of PURE HYPNOTIC EVIL!!!!!
07-02-04

pure hypnotic latte
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: a retarded clown * Text: 

fashion is a competition between people to see who can look the most like a retarded clown
07-01-04

a retarded clown
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Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2005: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2004: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2003: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2002: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec