Superpoop: 2014
Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2005: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2004: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2003: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2002: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
 

Toothpaste For Dinner comic: assault weapons * Text: 

WE'RE ALL GLAD THAT ASSAULT WEAPONS WERE LEGALIZED


being able to spray bullets legally has made my cooking a lot easier...and a lot more fun!


the ability to fire hundreds of rounds in quick succession helped me graduate high school!


what if my home is invaded by a herd of robot bear-sharks? i need to be able to defend my property...and now i can!


when i had conventional firearms, if my kids found my guns, they'd only be able to plug each other once or twice. not anymore!
12-31-04

assault weapons

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: graduate school * Text: 

graduate school: it's like looking directly into the bulb of a high-powered flashlight for two years, only more expensive
12-30-04

graduate school

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: rule of the office * Text: 

this report is no good


i will rewrite it immediately boss


RULE OF THE OFFICE:


save insubordination for managers who do not have lobster claw hands
12-29-04

rule of the office

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the dot com era ended * Text: 

WHY THE DOT-COM ERA ENDED


coffee's a buck, refills are fifty cents


standard business


we'll give out coffee for free to attract people to our site, where we sell napkins and cream


e-business
12-28-04

the dot com era ended

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: techno music for the sarcastic * Text: 

techno music: not made for the sarcastic


repeat that loop four times...oh yeah, just like that


now i'm thinking you should put another loop on top of it, like...yeah! just like that! HOLY CRAP YOU'RE BLOWING MY MIND OUT
12-27-04

techno music for the sarcastic

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: an angel gets kinda annoyed * Text: 

every time you hear a cell phone ring, an angel gets kinda annoyed
12-26-04

an angel gets kinda annoyed

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: that file folder * Text: 

hey, where'd you get that file folder


oh, it was a gift, i don't know where it came from
12-25-04

that file folder

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: hands free robarb * Text: 

well, i gotta go...these torsos aren't going to cut themselves up
12-24-04

hands free robarb

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: grandpa in a starter * Text: 

GRANDPA IN A STARTER JACKET


- where did he get it


- kinda weird
12-23-04

grandpa in a starter

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: metal notebook writing * Text: 

i have declared this month
12-22-04

metal notebook writing

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: discounts * Text: 

i've thought about it for a while, and if i ever start rapping, my rap name will be DI$COUNT$


then if i do a solo project later it'll be called $AVING$
12-21-04

discounts

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: human skull number * Text: 

here's my card...you know, if we were mayans, i'd be handing you a human skill with my phone number on it right now


well, not a phone number really, more of a human skull number, but you know what i mean
12-20-04

human skull number

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: hipster election 2004 * Text: 

HIPSTER ELECTION 2004


faux-80's mustache


vs.


ramone mop


vs.


overbearing mutton chops


WHICH HORRIBLE HAIR DECISION WILL PREVAIL
12-19-04

hipster election 2004

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: grand theft columbus ohio * Text: 

so i went out to buy that new
12-18-04

grand theft columbus ohio

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: direct curry * Text: 

and that is the difference between alternating curry and direct curry
12-17-04

direct curry

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: american press * Text: 

i used to make coffee with a french press - a cylinder with a mesh strainer that brews coffee grounds when you pour in hot water


i switched over last week to an american press...it works the same, but it ignores my failures and tells the entire world that i'm doing a great job brewing coffee
12-16-04

american press

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: thee gothick frenulums * Text: 

clock clock clock


as soon as i can get a band together i am starting a spooky group called THREE GOTHICK FRENULUMS and we will play all of our songs with mandolins and tongue clicking
12-15-04

thee gothick frenulums

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: ode to sweatervest * Text: 

SWEATERVEST you leave my arms cold and bare, yet you itch my torso unbearably


is there anything you can't do
12-14-04

ode to sweatervest

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: fish cant smell * Text: 

FUN FACT: fish can't smell


i haven't showered in days


it's cool, i can't smell
12-13-04

fish cant smell

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: disaffected youth * Text: 

NEW!! DISAFFECTED YOUTH


- Occasional door-slamming, otherwise remains quiet


- Easy to feed and maintain (prefers to stay in room or away from your home)


- Comes with free
12-12-04

disaffected youth

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: anti rave pants bill * Text: 

ever since the anti-rave-pants bill passed in 1998, super-floppy pants remain only in rare pictures such as this one, taken outside a warehouse party in 1993...and, of course, in our hearts
12-11-04

anti rave pants bill

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: where i hid the eggs * Text: 

the other day i found a bunch of easter egg colors in the closet


so i bought six dozen eggs, colored them, and hid them all over the side of my neighbor's house and car
12-10-04

where i hid the eggs

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: second anniversary present * Text: 

my wife and i got in a big argument this weekend


she keeps telling me that the second-anniversary gift is
12-09-04

second anniversary present

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: ray davies eating a hotdog * Text: 

our studies have conclusively proven that the recorded image which encapsulates the joys and troubles of the twenty-first century is this picture of ray davies eating a hot dog
12-08-04

ray davies eating a hotdog

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: ranch dressing * Text: 

FUN FACT: i have a biological aversion to ranch dressing


i can't eat it and if i accidentally get some on myself i throw up a little in the back of my throat
12-07-04

ranch dressing

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: self made immunologist * Text: 

portrait of the self-made immunologist


putting pens, pencils, doorknobs, etc. in mouth


healthy immune system
12-06-04

self made immunologist

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: mad libs by myself * Text: 

hey drew, whatcha doin


just about to get on a conference call here in a minute


translation: going to hide in the bathroom and do mad libs by myself for an hour
12-05-04

mad libs by myself

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: you can pick your friends * Text: 

you can pick your friends, and you can poop at work, but you can't chase your work friends around with a piece of poop
12-04-04

you can pick your friends

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: go outside and play with your utah * Text: 

no, you can not have a different birthday present


your mother and i spent good money on that utah, now go outside and play


there's tons of things you can do with it, go start a polygamist cult or something
12-03-04

go outside and play with your utah

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: find some sleeves * Text: 

GO HOME UNTIL YOU CAN FIND SOME SLEEVES
12-02-04

find some sleeves

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: food fight * Text: 

FOOD FIIIIIGHT!!!


every so often, i like to grab my tray and stand up suddenly in the cafeteria at work, and yell
12-01-04

food fight

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Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2005: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2004: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2003: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2002: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec