Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):
2010: jan . : . feb . : . mar
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2010: jan . : . feb . : . mar
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
how do you know when a lead guitarist has finished his solo i dunno, how when he is laying on the ground begging for his life, and you empty your gun into his talentless body
while some people insist on only using a certain type of pen, i am glad to use any pen i can take from the office supply cabinet at work, as long as it is a sanford uni-ball micro (extra fine) black pen
remember: if you assume, you could be wrong
mee mee m-mee mee mah mah nah m-mo mo mo moo moo moo m-moo moo moo i can't bring a synthesizer to work but to compensate i have learned how to make synth filter sounds with my mouth if anyone hears me i just pretend i am making fun of the computer
may i suggest the eating disorder special: a small plate half full of food to pick at for just $1.99
OUT: hitting on girls at bars IN: hitting girls with chocolate bars thrown out of my car
i have developed a theory that farts follow you around because they are attached to you with an invisible string, but no scientists will accept my work apparently someone has already used the name "string theory"
one two one two calculator in the crew three four look out calculator in the house everybody say heyyyy first day high school algebra: unbeknownst to me, the teacher had not asked students to buy a rapping calculator, but rather, a graphing calculator
the clear solution is to reverse the "walk" and "don't walk" signs on public streets until the size of the population is back under control
i dunno, i don't think a low-carb diet is very healthy m+ms sometimes you can make fun of people, and other times they do it for you
ladies and gentlemen of the board, the age of the internet is nigh i present to you the best business idea ever: SPAYPAL, the online neutering service for house pets
as soon as i realized that my daily activities revolved around when and how i was going to eat coconut candy, or what i could sell to be able to afford it, i realized: i am a coconut fiend
i would rather rearrange the letters that begin words than confront my alcoholism
from now on, all emails must be written in iambic pentameter what to do with an english degree (part 2)
DID YOU KNOW: the singular form of the word "feces" is "fec"? (pronounced "feek")
no matter how much they insist, never ever let your hamster try to drive your car
sniff sniff no matter what kind of book bag you have, your hand always smells the same after you rummage through the bottom of it
tap tap tap BARBER you may have ruined my hair, but i still know what a good haircut looks like....up here
welcome to my pants, would you like to save ten percent today by opening up a pants card
ITEM #2354061007 FEEDBACK: this was the final component in my time machine! see you in the future!! A+++
want to work from home? create your own work schedule? then we have something for you! UNEMPLOYMENT - ten million americans can't be wrong!
i do not usually like food but when i have a cold everything tastes like something else, so i explore the possibilities until i am healthy again my eggs this morning tasted like sewage, my coffee tastes like snot, WHO KNOWS WHERE LUNCH WILL LEAD!!!
nopurchasenecessaryseestoresfordetailsilikecerealvoidwhereprohibitedsweepstakesendsfebruarythirtyfirstnotincludingtaxtitlelicense from age six-and-a-half to age eight, i wanted to grow up to be the guy who talks fast on commercials
RESUME BUILDING QUIZ, QUESTION 4 you are homeless and collect cans to recycle for booze money. on your resume this should be listed as: A. contractor B. freelance work C. work-from-home D. all of the above ANSWERS: 4. D
DISCRIMINATION and that is why, ladies and gentlemen, we shall henceforth refer to colored pencils as "pencils of african ancestry"
i...i have a confession to make "surfing" was just a metaphor for "anonymous sodomy" brian wilson's deathbed
my fellow americans, i am pleased to announce that i have stopped all research to cure carpal tunnel and create low-carb cheez-its!! WE ARE GOING TO MARS!!!!!
i have tried for years to create my own gang sign, but unfortunately a lack of digits has made this task near-impossible
i would like to try a low carb diet but i can't find out if homeless people have any carbs or not homeless people and cans of beets
people who take more ketchup packets than they are going to use.... CAUGHT ON TAPE
Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):
2010: jan . : . feb . : . mar
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2010: jan . : . feb . : . mar
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec