Superpoop: 2014
Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2005: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2004: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2003: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2002: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
 

Toothpaste For Dinner comic: not my leg * Text: 

i like to play basketball what is your favorite sport


not my leg


what


i write
10-31-03

not my leg

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: you nothin * Text: 

you nothin but a ho ho
10-31-03

you nothin

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the hamster factory * Text: 

i want a job at a hamster factory because i bet if you work there you can take home the reject hamsters
10-30-03

the hamster factory

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: go to work anyway * Text: 

the only thing worse than being sick is being sick and having to go to work anyway
10-29-03

go to work anyway

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: network tv executive * Text: 

i want to make a reality television show where people who watch sitcoms are randomly selected and electrocuted in their own homes


my last day as a network tv executive
10-29-03

network tv executive

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: no benefits * Text: 

FUN FACT:


did you know that almost 90% of the companies in america don't realize that
10-28-03

no benefits

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: use these * Text: 

HELPFUL TIP:


when i first start dating someone, i go through their trash and write down a list of the personal hygiene items they use! then, i send them the list, along with a short note that says: USE THESE
10-27-03

use these

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: why would a person do that * Text: 

when you look at things on the internet, the one question you will ask is the same one everyone asks, and to which there is no answer: WHY WOULD A PERSON DO THAT
10-27-03

why would a person do that

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: i make the difference * Text: 

every year i work i support the united way by eating fundraiser cookies for free, tearing down the company-mandated flyers, and donating nothing
10-26-03

i make the difference

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the saddest thing * Text: 

the saddest thing in the world is a kid whose ice cream scoop falls off his cone and onto the ground
10-26-03

the saddest thing

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: natures helicopters * Text: 

FUN FACT:


did you know that flying squirrels can't actually fly? instead, they use special glands to levitate and hover, much like a helicopter
10-25-03

natures helicopters

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the finger report * Text: 

where is the report you were supposed to write this morning


oh, i have it, it's in my pocket, uh...oh HERE IT IS


i have another report, would you like that one too
10-24-03

the finger report

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: turn it upside down * Text: 

why did you just write
10-23-03

turn it upside down

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: gas is so expensive * Text: 

man, gas is so expensive these days


oh man for real!! i mean it's almost like it is not free to drill oil out of the ground, ship it to the refinery, make gasoline out of it, and fill thousands of trucks with the gas and drive them all over the country to gas stations
10-22-03

gas is so expensive

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: stripey socks * Text: 

stripey socks are the pinnacle of human development
10-22-03

stripey socks

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: bang this out * Text: 

i just need you to bang this out real quick


why do managers think that if they tell you to do a lengthy and complicated task, but imply that it is short and easy, that you will not notice
10-21-03

bang this out

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: having a job * Text: 

the best part of having a job is when you come home and change clothes and feel like mr. rogers
10-20-03

having a job

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: office panhandling * Text: 

will work 4 raise
10-19-03

office panhandling

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: lunch meat * Text: 

does anyone in the world over the age of five actually like to eat lunch meat
10-18-03

lunch meat

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: quality assurance * Text: 

press each key 5000 times and see if the computer crashes, i will see you again at lunch


being in
10-18-03

quality assurance

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: news commercials * Text: 

food: how regular things you eat can kill you instantly!!


your children: are they being abducted RIGHT THIS SECOND??


terrorists: did they poison the water supply for the entire city this morning?!


TUNE IN TONIGHT AT ELEVEN TO FIND OUT
10-17-03

news commercials

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: cell phone device * Text: 

i have developed a device which prevents mobile phone use in appropriate places! i call it
10-16-03

cell phone device

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: hip hop etymology * Text: 

every single time i hear new hip hop slang or dialects they remind me of secret codes invented by pre-teen girls to write notes in
10-16-03

hip hop etymology

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: man i got this van with * Text: 

at every place i have ever worked, there is one person who does not know when to stop a conversation, so they keep talking until i just walk away
10-15-03

man i got this van with

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: nuts of the gods * Text: 

cashews are great, they are the nuts of the gods! here, have some


DAD NO, i am not eating god's nuts
10-15-03

nuts of the gods

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: interview questions * Text: 

in interviews it is often helpful to ask the interviewer questions of your own! good examples are
10-14-03

interview questions

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: handling the restructuring * Text:
10-13-03

handling the restructuring

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: i like cincinnati * Text: 

i think cincinnati is a nice town, why did you move


my landlord started accepting crack as rent payment
10-13-03

i like cincinnati

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: do siamese twins share * Text: 

well, i think what we're all wondering is: do siamese twins share the same drinking glass?
10-12-03

do siamese twins share

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: about an hour * Text: 

the elation you feel when you quit your job is soon replaced by the disappointment you feel when you realize walking around your house in a tie with no shirt is only entertaining for about an hour
10-11-03

about an hour

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the economy is doing better * Text: 

my fellow americans, the economy is doing better than ever!! in fact i just signed a bill to increase my salary forty percent
10-10-03

the economy is doing better

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: uncle 1 * Text: 

i only eat whole chickens because chicken parts are contaminated
10-09-03

uncle 1

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: uncle 2 * Text: 

i found these rocks on my property, they are indian tools! see, this one coulda been used to pound something


no telling how much these are worth
10-09-03

uncle 2

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: uncle 3 * Text: 

when i mow my grass, i just leave it there on the lawn, it turns into plankton
10-09-03

uncle 3

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: uncle 4 * Text: 

everyone has syphilis, it just has to be activated
10-09-03

uncle 4

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: uncle 5 * Text: 

that's what the irish indians do


what


you know, the people who lived in ireland before the pilgrims came
10-09-03

uncle 5

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: uncle 6 * Text: 

well, hello! i have not seen you in a while! have you gained weight?
10-09-03

uncle 6

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: uncle 7 * Text: 

i cut the tops off all the trees on my property, one of em coulda fallen on the house
10-09-03

uncle 7

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: uncle 8 * Text: 

george bush's family owns ninety percent of kuwait, that's why they went to war
10-09-03

uncle 8

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the day i knew * Text: 

sniff sniff


what the


the day i knew i needed to quit my job: the day i walked into the bathroom and i saw one of my coworkers standing by the wall, staring off into space, sniffing his hand over and over again
10-08-03

the day i knew

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: tonight at dopeys * Text: 

playing tonight at dopeys:


obvious pot reference! with special guest, the dumb band name trio
10-07-03

tonight at dopeys

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: print shop * Text: 

as a cost-cutting measure, from now on, all company memos must be produced with PRINT SHOP


try the
10-06-03

print shop

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: nerd not found * Text: 

i have hyperlinked to your heart and the link text is
10-05-03

nerd not found

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the toothpaste interview * Text: 

mr. swarzenegger, is it true that i live three thousand miles away from your state and would not care less if oscar the freaking grouch were the new governor of california
10-04-03

the toothpaste interview

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the way i live my life * Text: 

we are all going to die some day, so fart all you can while you are still alive
10-04-03

the way i live my life

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: knights of the food court * Text: 

knights of the food court
10-03-03

knights of the food court

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: dog gone crazy * Text: 

i stole nine dogs from people at the park today, one for every letter in
10-02-03

dog gone crazy

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: another northeastern crisis * Text: 

i stubbed my toe!!


stay here, i will get the candles!!


after terrorist attacks, a blizzard, a blackout, and heavy rains, residents of the northeastern united states continue to struggle to find another crisis through which they can endure
10-01-03

another northeastern crisis

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: trucker hats * Text: 

dear guys who wear trucker hats turned to the side:


i wish you lived in new york too
10-01-03

trucker hats

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Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2005: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2004: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2003: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2002: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec