Superpoop: 2014
Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2005: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2004: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2003: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2002: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
 

Toothpaste For Dinner comic: hot apple pie * Text: 

hot apple pie! hot apple pie is ready! do you want whipped cream


whenever i go to a coffeehouse i pretend the drinks people order are euphemisms
11-30-03

hot apple pie
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: guide to friendship * Text: 

drew's guide to friendship:


if you are listening to a song with a british singer and someone sings along in a fake british accent, they are not your friend
11-29-03

guide to friendship
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: need to vocode * Text: 

if elected governor, i will revoke vocoders state-wide and reissue them solely on a need-to-vocode basis
11-28-03

need to vocode
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: number two * Text: 

as soon as you think your coworkers are not as dumb as retarded monkeys, you will be reminded of this fact within ten minutes (example: number two in the urinal)
11-27-03

number two
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: opposite day * Text: 

today is opposite day, do you want me to fire you


yes! wait i mean no!, no, yes! yes!
11-26-03

opposite day
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: ye olde poste officee * Text: 

i got this letter and it was ripped to shreds


it must have gotten caught in the sorting machine


in the olden days, the post office had to destroy mail by hand
11-25-03

ye olde poste officee
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: much like a human child * Text: 

sniff sniff


much like a human child, when a hamster stands up on two legs and looks around at things, you would almost swear it was intelligent
11-24-03

much like a human child
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: so much alliteration * Text: 

you need to rewrite this report, it uses so much alliteration it is impossible to read


realistically, revising recent reports risks ruining resplendent writing
11-23-03

so much alliteration
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: perfect circles * Text: 

whoa how did you do it


drew you are awesome


before my compass was discovered by a teacher and confiscated, i was popular for a short time in first grade for my apparent ability to draw perfect circles with a pencil
11-22-03

perfect circles
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: my son is four months old * Text: 

so my son is four months old now


have you had him neutered yet? he will start to get aggressive in a few years if you don't
11-21-03

my son is four months old
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: a degree in english * Text: 

and legend has it that if you go far enough out into the country, even the license plates are written in mixed case and have apostrophes for every plural


whoa!!!


what does a person get for a degree in english? some would say nothing, but others know that a lifetime of telling scary grammatical stories to your kids has a value that can't be measured in employment alone
11-20-03

a degree in english
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: group of animals small * Text: 

what do you call a group of animals?


a school of fish


a gang of thugs


a monthly report of middle managers


a crotch of car salesmen


an angst of teenagers
11-19-03

group of animals small
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: body mod website * Text: 

i am starting a
11-18-03

body mod website
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: new improved toothbrushes * Text: 

no matter how many new and improved toothbrushes i see when i go to the store, i will not be convinced that a toothbrush is worth six dollars unless it makes other people's breath smell better when i use it
11-17-03

new improved toothbrushes
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: plans with hamster * Text: 

HAMSTER let's go out tonight, you can tell your mom you are staying at my house and i will tell my mom i am staying at your house
11-16-03

plans with hamster
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: you feel rich * Text: 

if you are thinking about going to college, don't go there to get a degree


go there so when you can finally afford disposable plastic forks instead of washing the ones you stole from the dining hall over and over again, you feel rich
11-15-03

you feel rich
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: yall ready for this * Text: 

YES i am ready for this!! now stop playing the same chords over and over again and QUIT ASKING
11-14-03

yall ready for this
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: every day * Text: 

every day is the day i forget to attach a file to an e-mail
11-13-03

every day
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: friendhamster * Text: 

HAMSTER why did you decline my invitation from the internet friend site, i need to build my personal network!!


what do you mean,
11-13-03

friendhamster
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: its a girrrrl * Text: 

ROOMMATE the phone is for you!! it's a girrrl....


the last time i had a roommate i gave him the phone every time telemarketers called
11-12-03

its a girrrrl
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: alone in coffeeshop * Text: 

alone in coffeeshop + headphones + book = i am an appreciator of music and literature, please SOMEONE NOTICE ME
11-11-03

alone in coffeeshop
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the art museum blt * Text: 

the last time i ever ate lunch at the art museum, i ordered a BLT and it turned out to be a beuys, lettuce, and tomato sandwich
11-10-03

the art museum blt
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: toothpaste for garfield * Text: 

i hate mondays


(looks at reader)
11-10-03

toothpaste for garfield
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: chain link fence * Text: 

AAAAGGHHHHH


sometimes people claim to have grown up in the midwest, but unless they found a roll of chain link fence, climbed into it, and had someone roll it down a hill as a kid, i do not believe them
11-09-03

chain link fence
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: hollow fangs * Text: 

if i could have any body modification i wanted, i would get hollow fangs, so i could sip hot coffee without burning my mouth
11-08-03

hollow fangs
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: there is more * Text: 

you know, there is more to acrobat than reader
11-07-03

there is more
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: sound like high heels * Text: 

click clack clack


is there anything dumber than men who wear shoes that sound like high heels when they walk
11-06-03

sound like high heels
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: a choreographed move * Text: 

look, it is kids dressed in fatigues, doing a tap dance routine to a medley of patriotic songs


maybe they'll have a choreographed move where they rape female cadets


at the state fair
11-05-03

a choreographed move
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: operational hamsterfier * Text: 

inverting operational hamsterfier
11-05-03

operational hamsterfier
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: so what if i am * Text: 

well, so what if i am


the worst part of being unemployed is when your friends call and say,
11-04-03

so what if i am
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: salesman tech support * Text: 

okay, what you need to do is pull down the
11-03-03

salesman tech support
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: my ideal job * Text: 

my ideal job? well, i guess i would want to work in human resources so i could make intelligent, talented employees jump through hoops all day long out of spite
11-02-03

my ideal job
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: every joke in 1994 * Text: 

in every office there is at least one person who makes an effort to collect every joke that was on an internet humor page in 1994 and tape it to their door
11-01-03

every joke in 1994
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Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2005: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2004: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2003: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2002: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec