Crudbump: Rap & Beats
Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2005: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2004: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2003: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2002: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
 

Toothpaste For Dinner comic: by idiots for idiots * Text: 

you guys i have a great idea! let's make a game where you walk around and shoot things!


i agree and make a motion to drink soda and shoot each other with nerf guns


video games: by idiots, for idiots
05-29-03

by idiots for idiots
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: food jack * Text: 

at work they have jacks in the wall for ethernet so i bet they could make a jack for your house that would hook up to your mouth and put food in it
05-29-03

food jack
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: message to coworker * Text: 

it may be possible to grow a beard by just not shaving but it is extremely difficult to turn a lack of tooth brushing into an attractive facial feature
05-29-03

message to coworker
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: retarded on ice * Text: 

BREAKING NEWS


gallagher has teamed up with the guy who makes garfield and a troop of skating actors to make the ground-breaking production


RETARDED.....ON ICE!!!
05-29-03

retarded on ice
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: hunting the wild hipster * Text: 

their first album was better! their first album was better!!


to hunt the wild hipster, one must replicate its mating call exactly
05-27-03

hunting the wild hipster
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: internet auction feedback * Text: 

you have done a good job here! in internet auction feedback terms that translates to
05-27-03

internet auction feedback
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: mc hamster gets loose * Text: 

put chocolate chips in my cheek, i'm sleek


i squeak the wheel while you sleep


mc hamster gets loose
05-27-03

mc hamster gets loose
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: 10 types of people * Text: 

there are 10 types of people in the world: people who understand binary, and people who have friends
05-25-03

10 types of people
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: fill your pockets * Text: 

if you go to a chinese buffet and do not fill your pockets with rice and egg rolls for later, you are not getting the most out of your $5.95
05-25-03

fill your pockets
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: in my basement * Text: 

hello


in my basement there is a pipe that goes through the wall to my next door neighbor's basement and sometimes i yell through it and tell them that i am a magic squirrel that is really a wizard and they will get magic prizes if they free me from the squirrel body by throwing crumpled up twenty dollar bills through the pipe
05-25-03

in my basement
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: most horrifying french horn * Text: 

oh no


i thought i had experienced the most horrifying thing ever the time i got in a car wreck and the car turned over several times and i thought i was going to die, until i was at work and heard an instrumental cover version of
05-25-03

most horrifying french horn
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: giant hamsters * Text: 

giant hamsters are very cute until they start walking on your head and eating all your strawberry jam every night
05-22-03

giant hamsters
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: nine more cups of pretzel * Text: 

my car had a flat tire so i put on the spare, but when i went to the gas station the air pump was broken and completely deflated my tire, and when i went inside to call a tow truck i bought coffee while i was waiting and it tasted like pretzel salt. the clerk gave me this card and said if i bought nine more cups of coffee that i could get one free, and also that he could not refund the fifty cents i spent on the broken air machine and so anyway now he's all
05-22-03

nine more cups of pretzel
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: so tired * Text: 

sometimes in meetings i get so tired i can't even keep my eyes pointing in the same direction
05-22-03

so tired
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: all jobs * Text: 

why are all jobs made up of one week of
05-20-03

all jobs
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: i will sign you up * Text: 

COWORKER what do you mean you have not joined the pen fifteen club yet! i will sign you up right now do you have a pen
05-20-03

i will sign you up
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: imagewriter * Text: 

some days you can't find a ribbon for an imagewriter II no matter how hard you look
05-20-03

imagewriter
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: nutra$weet * Text: 

diet soda 4 life


ASPARTAME KREW REPRESENT
05-20-03

nutra$weet
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: we need to talk * Text: 

we need to talk


ok


about fish


ok


do you like them


i guess


THIS CONVERSATION IS OVER!!!
05-20-03

we need to talk
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: almost exactly two weeks * Text: 

14 days


i got a new job and was worried for a second that i would have nothing to write about because it is not too bad


then i remembered how all jobs turn to crap in almost exactly two weeks
05-18-03

almost exactly two weeks
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: banjo skulls * Text: 

the only thing better than sitting outside playing the banjo is sitting outside playing a banjo made from the skulls of people who made fun of you in grade school
05-18-03

banjo skulls
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: octagon discount * Text: 

i gotta cut off your ear first, behind your neck - pull out your stomach and open rectums to dissect


i have looked for years, but have not yet found a doctor who will give me a discount for knowing all the words to the dr. octagon album
05-18-03

octagon discount
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: shot out of cannons * Text: 

frankly i am pretty disappointed with how webloggers are covering the war!!


i think they need to go to the front line and be shot out of cannons at arabs
05-18-03

shot out of cannons
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: all about the washingtons * Text: 

yo, livin the temp job life, spendin dolla bills


it's all about tha washingtons
05-15-03

all about the washingtons
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: bloated * Text: 

do you sometimes feel......bloated?


boooo-OOOM
05-15-03

bloated
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: evenings and weekends * Text: 

i am afraid that the accordion is going to have to be for evenings and weekends only
05-15-03

evenings and weekends
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: fishing doo rag * Text: 

i have no idea what i am holding


i think it is a doo rag with fishing lures hanging on it


looks like someone needs drawing lessons
05-15-03

fishing doo rag
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: my current research * Text: 

my current research deals with finding a show with both a laugh track and humor


so far i have failed
05-15-03

my current research
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: always tired * Text: 

i always forget how work makes you always tired until i get a job again
05-13-03

always tired
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: dolla off wit canned good * Text: 

yo it is twenty bucks a pop if you want what i got


but you can get a dolla off if you got a canned good, dog
05-13-03

dolla off wit canned good
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: not so fresh * Text: 

watching television gives me that not-so-fresh feeling
05-13-03

not so fresh
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the worst hotel ever * Text: 

every spring when it hails i think that god is an ice machine and my pelted body and broken car windows are the bucket and that this is the worst hotel ever
05-13-03

the worst hotel ever
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: writing about music * Text: 

writing about music is like sitcoms because it is dumb
05-13-03

writing about music
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: chang and eng * Text: 

if i ever make a video game it will be one where siamese twins box each other and it will be called
05-11-03

chang and eng
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: dudeic acid * Text: 

O


OH


dude-ic acid
05-11-03

dudeic acid
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: juggling coffee * Text: 

juggling coffee is more difficult and burn-ier than you may think at first
05-11-03

juggling coffee
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: raisins are * Text: 

raisins are like grandparents, they may be shriveled and wrinkly but they taste great in cookies or all by themselves
05-11-03

raisins are
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: stapling * Text: 

stapling is fun, stapling is healthy
05-11-03

stapling
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: ergonomics * Text: 

our motto:


ERGONOMICS, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN
05-08-03

ergonomics
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: how to smuggle * Text: 

the last time i flew somewhere i smuggled four cups of coffee and a lemon poppyseed muffin by putting them in my stomach outside the security checkpoint
05-08-03

how to smuggle
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: my fellow jesus fans * Text: 

my fellow jesus fans, i am sad to announce that EASTER IS CANCELED


you may donate excess eggs and candy directly to me
05-08-03

my fellow jesus fans
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: toothpaste information * Text: 

you are full of lies, drew continues to do very well! in fact he just bought a new car


the toothpaste information minister, mohammed al-rabbit sandhat
05-08-03

toothpaste information
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: did you see stephen malkmus * Text: 

HEY DID YOU SEE STEPHEN MALKMUS OVER THERE


YEAH I WONDER WHAT STEPHEN MALKMUS IS DOING HERE


when i go to indie rock shows i like to talk really loud about how famous people are there in the audience so all the hipsters will start covertly looking around for them
05-06-03

did you see stephen malkmus
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: nothing more reassuring * Text: 

there is nothing more reassuring than the not-so-great taste of pop tarts in the morning
05-06-03

nothing more reassuring
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: office minotaur * Text: 

i have affixed two pencils to my head with tape so all who get lost in the cubicle maze will meet a grisly death from OFFICE MINOTAUR!!!
05-06-03

office minotaur
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: tiny cups of coffee * Text: 

having tiny cups of coffee is like buying individual cigarettes, you have to go back to the store twenty times a day
05-06-03

tiny cups of coffee
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: model of the internet * Text: 

i have constructed a working model of the internet! simply put your time and money and ideas into this box, then bury it so no one will see them!!
05-04-03

model of the internet
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: resignation from the club * Text: 

the pen fifteen club is a sham!! please accept my resignation effective immediately
05-04-03

resignation from the club
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the last walk * Text: 

fish this is the last time i take you on a walk
05-04-03

the last walk
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the loneliest sound * Text: 

the loneliest sound in the world is a file cabinet full of paper falling down a six-story staircase
05-04-03

the loneliest sound
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: toastjet * Text: 

presenting the TOASTJET 5000!! prints on any kind of toast, and comes with easily refillable jam or peanut butter cartridges! WELCOME TO THE FUTURE
05-04-03

toastjet
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: almsot as funney * Text: 

if you are going to put an internet link to my drawings that says
05-01-03

almsot as funney
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: always ten am * Text: 

rumble rumble


in hell it is always 10 am and you are always hungry and you never have change for the vending machine
05-01-03

always ten am
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: changing the letters * Text: 

changing the letters on business signs seems like a great job until you have to do it


or until you take the letter changing tool and have to run away to be able to keep it
05-01-03

changing the letters
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: economy hint * Text: 

economy hint: pay for things with handfuls of change and usually people feel sorry for you and give stuff to you for free!!
05-01-03

economy hint
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: hungry vampire * Text: 

what if you are a vampire and you're really hungry and you have a pet hamster


that has to be the worst feeling in the world except the feeling you get when you hear the new album by your favorite band and it is terrible
05-01-03

hungry vampire
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Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2005: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2004: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2003: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2002: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec